I just like this.

My mother reminded me of this piece not all too long ago. There are many things in it that I like to think on, and many things I agree with. Thought I'd give you a break from my own writing, and offer you someone else's.

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore, be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be and whatever your labours and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

(Max Ehrmannin)

I fell in love, with the world in you.

Each day I've been hearing a much quicker tick and tock of the clock in the back of my mind. I can hardly believe I've been living in this place for nearly a year, nor do I accept how fast my departure is approaching. Alas, my mind has wandered into great clouds of nostalgia. Come with me to visit a few of my memories, will you?

I can recall how unsure I was walking upon the uneven streets of Surat Thani for the first time. I couldn't order my lunch, nor could I tell you anything of the people I was working with, less their physical appearance. What have I done? I remember thinking as I lay to sleep one night. My days were void of anything familiar and anything 'normal'. Today I sit thinking, Oh my, what a wonderful thing I have done! I've let Thailand become a friend. It's been the kind of friend that tells you like it is, how the world works, and begs the right kind of questions. It's also been trustworthy and loyal. And it's introduced me to some pretty terrific people, both little and big.

The big ones have been sources of advice, comfort, and comradery. One of my greatest memories is of talking of justice and life over red wine in Cambodia. What beauty there is in being brought to a helpless place, but having the strength to talk about it with friends. I am grateful for my companions here who allow themselves to think on the tough things in life, and process them with me.

And the little ones. Oh, the little ones! I love to think on my interactions with them. This past week I spent a few minutes with my student Smart who wanted nothing but to pull out his front tooth by the end of class. I said, "Smart, it's not going to come out today buddy. No matter how hard you try." He understood me, all the while his vocabulary being limited to shapes and colors. Animals too, on a good day. The little ones have taught me about communication without words, and on the importance of a deep, and easy laugh. I love them for taking on their own little worlds, allowing me to take on mine, too.

I sit here, remembering moments of deep sorrow for 'home', joyful reunions, frustrating misunderstandings, heavy laughter, unwanted goodbyes, and the gentleness of holding the hand of a child. Yes, Thailand has become one of my dearest friends, and may prove to be the most difficult goodbye of all.

Look back on it wistfully.

When you plunge into the deep blue, your eyes open a bit wider, your ears know nothing familiar, and your mind moves in a new way- with the currents, if you allow it.

I jumped in last week, a few pounds secured around my waist, a rather weighty tank upon my back, an unnatural mask grasping my face, and fins drowning the little feet I inherited from my mother. With a quick nudge from our captain’s aid, I made a grand, and equally awkward entrance into the world beneath me.

The thoughts that occupied my first hour were simply, breathe in, breathe out. The truth is, all I could hear were my breaths. I couldn’t separate myself from them, nor would I have wanted to. I thought to myself, surely this is life in its simplest form- breathe in, breathe out. We fill ourselves with what we need, then release that which we don’t. In a life where I so often weigh what’s good for me, what’s not, where I should go, what I should do, what I should keep, what I should release, how grateful I am that I don’t know the burden of thinking on each breath. A part of me that’s hidden, it works- breathe in, breathe out.

Like most new places, I adapted in time, and I quickly found a calmness that allowed me to look a bit deeper, to think clearer on this new landscape. I climbed mountains of coral, aged and weathered, new and vibrant. The Christmas Tree Worm became my favorite playmate. And the communities of animals reminded me of communities I hold dear. Even the fish, they need each other. All the while one idea drifted to the forefront of my mind again and again- the artist that sculpted this very different, oh so lovely world beneath me, formed me as well. It’s no wonder there’s great harmony in being in it.

The absence of traffic jams, of spoken words, of feet on pavement, of man-made distraction, created an environment the closest to natural that I’ve ever been. And just as the tide comes in for me, I’ll be running to greet it.

I want to go back across that sea.

Farewells and goodwills, partnered with a few tears, were bid to two of my dearest friends from this era of my life. And I was reminded of how terribly unique this experience is, and of the great companionship you feel with a community who knows it just as you do.

There is something brilliant about people who move through the world together, eyes wide open, beside one another. I’m finding that an experience is worth so little, if not shared. And I think fondly of Tom and Sarah, two friends who partake in my knowledge and dissection of this peculiar, yet wildly beautiful country. I then think of their great kindness and goodness. Tea over thoughtful conversation perpetually fastened us together. But I suppose I could not hoard them forever, and their voyage must begin anew. And as communities in the past have brought me thus far, I will carry you with me, in an envelope if I must, for as long as I can remember and reflect.

I’m hopeful, too, that the more paths I forge, the more likely I am to find myself crossing the paths of those I find most dear. Onward forging!

Would you always. Maybe sometimes.

When great things are on the horizon- this is when what’s called anticipation sets in. Oh, the anticipation I feel today! I’m fortunate in that all I’m awaiting are glorious things. Perhaps you are awaiting something too?

My heart beats now as if all will be as it should soon. For in a few short weeks I will be with my dear father. I can hardly believe nearly nine months have come and gone without a sight of him. Anyone who knows me understands the way in which I cherish my relationship with my pops. He is quite the apple of my eye. Anticipation, I’m so glad that you have come.

What else am I awaiting? I’ll tell you. I don’t find myself to be particularly gifted in any creative realm. My brother got those jeans. Genes? But recently I experienced a surge of it and produced some things that I am actually really excited about. I hardly like admitting it, for I find art to be a most personal thing in my life. But if I’m willing to blog, I suppose I should be willing to be transparent about most things. Thus, I am awaiting another burst of creativity. I don’t know if it will ever come, but I am left eagerly waiting, anticipation by my side.

It seems anticipation is something one cannot muster up on one’s own. It’s a powerful force that nudges every step and thought forward. For me, I walk a bit more wide-eyed. I even skip now and again, oblivious that I’m on display for Thai rugrats. Anticipation, I could get used to you.

Marshmallow water.

. . . but I can see you, I can see you now.

I love sitting motionless at the break of day, holding a warm mug of coffee- it’s steam fogging my view as I peer out a door wide open. I simply watch the life go by- not 20 feet before me. I find peace in the passing and going of the natives here, for their walking steps are never quick. I like to imagine what they might be dreaming up, where they might be going, what song they might be singing in their mind. Could it ever be the same that I am singing? A sip of my coffee and I take it all in. This is my morning ritual.

A young boy, whose rusty bike is much too big for his body, pedals strenuously and happily across my view. Few moments pass without a sign of life. A bird lands effortlessly on a power line, a thirsty dog searches for relief from the heat, and the wind hypnotizes the great foliage that is Thailand’s own. It’s all beautiful, I think merely for beauty’s sake.

Occasionally a motor bike whizzes by- piled high with both goods and offspring. I smile at the familiarity of it all. And it’s comforting being an audience, remembering that the world doesn’t revolve around little old me. I need this. And I find that each morning, such silence is a gift.

Old, old mystery.

I have been feeling rather inspired lately, the topic of interest being just this: memory. The truth is, I have hesitated in writing because I worry that my combinations of words and ideas couldn’t possibly portray the way in which this fascinating idea has played out in my own mind. But unfortunately, my head seems to be bursting at the seams, and I must write of it, before it’s too late.

I awoke one morning last week, my senses overflowing with the memory of something I once knew. I couldn’t place it instantly, but I soon realized I was ‘smelling’ (in whatever way the memory allows us to smell) the aroma of a Christmas blend of coffee. It was one that Kristin and I brewed enjoyably for a few weeks last winter. It was a moment thick with nostalgia. With it were brought recollections of fresh Ohio snows, hardwood floors, and paper birds that patterned our walls.

Not a few days later, I drank one too many cups of coffee (unfortunately, not a delightful Christmas blend) and needed a quick snack before Thai class. I ran down the street in hopes of a quick carbohydrate fix. I grabbed a pack of Ritz crackers in a hurry, not knowing I would be plunged once more into a distant place and time. Upon my first bite I remembered my mom; my beautiful, supportive mother, who I can sit hours upon hours with, laughing with, talking to, and apparently snacking alongside. I could hardly believe the accuracy in which I was recalling the details of time spent with her: my mother’s genuine laugh lingering in the air, her sincere outlooks spilling out for me, and the warmth of a perfect hug.

Since these moments, I have been thinking on the mind, and on memory. I have been thinking on how extraordinary it is that a sight, a bite, a sound, can generate such precious thoughts, hidden deep in a place undefined. I suppose I’ve always thought the mind to be quite logical and orderly, but lately it’s become a thing of great wonder and secrecy. And I am grateful for its pleasant interruptions. For the way that it reminds me of where I’ve been, what I’ve done, who I love.

And now I’m left marveling at what my memory might bring to me of my time spent in Thailand!

ไหว้

(This post title reads'The Wai'- pronounced 'why'. Why? Because I've been thinking perhaps I should let you in on that which is normal in this very different culture I am living in. The customs on this side of the planet are both bizarre and perhaps worth practicing. See for yourself!)

Greeting -verb: 1. to address with some form of salutation.

In North America we stretch out our hands and shake them up and down rather vigorously. (I'm beginning to think that Asian cultures must think this terribly odd.) In places such as Ecuador you learn to practice a simple kiss on the cheek (which I became rather fond of.) But here in Thailand, the greeting is both a salutation and a display of great respect.

To practice the wai one must place their hands in a prayer-like position, elbows in, thumbs close to the body, and accompany the gesture with a slight bow of the head- or a great bow of the head if the greeting is towards someone of high social stature (you must never forget to wai the grandparents of anyone you meet!) The various positions of the wai can express respect, authority, obedience, apologies, and happiness. It's a simple movement, yet deeply complex.

Ah, the greetings of the world.

Heart it races.

I woke up this morning to the sound of monkeys on my rooftop! It’s because I spent the weekend with our new teacher, Nicki, and my dear friends Tom and Sarah, in Khao Sok National Park- the largest Evergreen rainforest in the world- which lies 2 hours from our town. It felt like something from a children’s book, the way we spent our days discovering elephant tracks, searching for leopards (unfortunately, no luck), and keeping monkeys from breaking and entering. (Essentially, I should have obeyed the rules, because when a monkey caught me munching on crackers on the front porch he came right for me, and proceeded to shake the front door, and windows, in search of my treats.) I think this is what we call monkey business.

I must say, I never tire of the striking sights to see in this place, and I’m so often left speechless on my weekend getaways (undoubtedly, far from the city). The way the heavy rains quench the thirst of the trees, the outlandish calls of the wild (we were certain one of the bird calls was actually an alarm going off), and the means in which nature makes me feel so connected, and indeed so small, will forever mystify me.

. . . to find tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, sermons in stones, and good in everything.
(Shakespeare)

Little flowers that you have sewn...

I have taken another hiatus in writing, and that just isn’t fair. Please forgive me!! I promise to be more diligent in these coming weeks (as I always do, I guess). But you see, I’ve taken to hermit-ing a bit, and thus will spend a bit more time writing. You’ll be feeling the brunt of it. The trouble is finding the time to blog in between real life journaling- the writing that is with my hand! It’s like being in two places at one time. Alas, I must gather my thoughts!

Yesterday I celebrated my 7 month anniversary in Thailand. I have to admit- it was the first anniversary (I find myself always counting) in which I became rather sad in realizing that I am indeed climbing down the ladder of my time here. Thailand has become my home, these fellow teachers of English and Thai natives have become my community. I cannot imagine a day without them. (Sigh.) It’s incredible the way in which strange things become familiar, and unfamiliar people become family. (Another sigh.)



So- I’d like to let you in on my life in teaching. It’s something I’ve never actually blogged about in detail- yet it’s what I’m constantly doing. So, take a seat, and lend me your eyes.

In all honesty, the Thai Education System is nowhere near perfect. Most classrooms lack creativity and resources (and air conditioning). Thai kids have no idea how to write essays, nor really think for themselves. “Copy” is within every child’s English vocabulary. It’s disheartening for those of us who have been graced with a challenging and rather innovative education. Does it sound harsh? It might- but it’s what I’ve found in the time I’ve lived here. Such is teaching in a place that is not the Western world. As my father likes to remind me, “Hil, you’re not in Kansas anymore.” It’s true. Apparently I’m in Asia.

Thankfully the Language School I work for allows us a great deal of freedom- and the after school classes are chock full of creativity and ingenuity, if I do say so myself (for those of us teachers who are on our high horses.) But the high schools we contract out to are a different story altogether. There are typically a few ‘farang’, or foreign teachers, at these schools. And at both of the high schools we teach the beginner levels. Again, it becomes a rather discouraging situation because these students go on to have Thai teachers teaching them English in their upper level classes. Essentially, most of what we teach will be unraveled within the next several years. The broken English we seek to correct will be taught to them in the future. If this isn’t a dilemma, I’m not sure what is.



In thinking this way I have found myself defeated many a time. But I’m often reminded of a quotation (come on, are you surprised?). Someone once said something like this, “A student may never remember what you taught them, but they will remember how you made them feel.” I have found my teaching philosophy in this. I strive to teach my students exceptional English skills, and challenge them in it, but more importantly, I hope to make them feel valuable and significant. Knowledge is powerful, but perhaps confidence and value in one’s self is much more so.

I am a teacher of English.

They cannot let it expand, they cannot let it expand.

(Okay legitimately, I have students impersonating Michael Jackson all of the time now. Who would have thought? And speaking of music- lyrics come from Midlake- such good music. Lorah, a thousand thanks for your thoughtfulness. Your mixes forever get me by.)

So- I have taken quite the one-month hiatus in writing, and for this I hope you can all forgive me! Here’s into my mind, if you dare:

The swine flu has hit Surat Thani town (don’t worry, I’m not infected), but as a result our after school classes have been cancelled for a few weeks. So, upon my early return to the house today, I plopped myself down on the sofa and began catching up on my Newsweek. (I can hardly believe M.J. is gone!) Within 5 minutes (at about 3:00), my front porch was flooded with young school children. They were playing card games, having snacks, all on MY very front porch. I wasn’t bothered, and actually found myself thankful for the company. But, I began thinking how very strange it is. And I thought to myself, something like this would probably never happen back home. Your space is your space, your front porch is your own. And well, there’s not really anything wrong with that to a certain degree- it’s just the way it has come to be, right?

But then the wheels started turning, as they do. What other attitudes have changed in me since I’ve begun living in this country? I think I’ve become much more open. I don’t believe that I was a particularly closed person before, but when you’re thrown into a situation in which pretty much everyone is different from you (in attitudes, language, etc.), you have to adapt. You simply have to- to survive physically and I think, more importantly, emotionally. I’m even referring to the Western people I am surrounded with. This is the first time in my life that I haven’t had the option of choosing my friends- they were just here upon my arrival! I’ve realized that I have always tended to surround myself with people that are like me. (Good looking, funny, you know. Hah! Joke.) But it’s true. And again, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. I think it’s important to be surrounded by people whose values are similar to yours. I can’t imagine a life without friends who love God, justice, friends who have shared in my experiences, and things of the like. But now, being here, lacking those familiar friendships, I’ve been stretched. And I’ve found there is actually much to be learned from everyone I know.

I’ve learned to be more wide-eyed and in awe of the world through the attitudes of my little kindergartners. In my roommate Erika, I’ve learned to embrace my emotional personality more than I ever have before. (oh, how we share this!) Through the attitudes of all the Thais, I’ve learned to merely slow down. I wonder, what might my life look like if I looked a little bit deeper into the lives of those around me- even people I don’t particularly get along with- to find their thoughts, ideas, attitudes, that might make my life that much more rich. I don’t claim it’s an easy process, but I’d like to believe that changes in our lives and attitudes are often a marker of progress. But you’ve got to allow yourself to be challenged first, in order to be changed. And what’s so bad about challenging and relating with each other? There’s a bit of good in all of us, I believe.

I like what Lord Chesterfield has to say about all of this, “You must look into other people as well as at them.” The next person you meet- ask about their life, who they are, what they know. Look into their lives, really look, and tell me what you see.

Dr.Seuss is my hero!

I haven't much to say. Just wanted to check in with you today. Because while my troubles have seemed plenty, I'm finally feeling myself again. Whew! I think we can all admit that we like me more when I'm myself rather than covered in homesick tears. And so, I came across this quote which encompasses the way I feel about trials and tribulations. Well- at least the way I feel now- and hopefully will the next time troubles come my way.

"I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I've bought a big bat. I'm all read you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!"
(Dr.Seuss)

It's just like the present, to be showing up like this.

A child needs a grandparent, to grow a little more securely into an unfamiliar world.
(Charles and Ann Morse)

Sometimes I completely forget that I’m half-way around the world. But then- I remember when I hop online to buy a domestic plane ticket up to Bangkok for a weekend, that I’m not in Ohio anymore. I remember when I stop and actually listen to everyone around me- ‘why, they’re not speaking English!!’ I remember when I bum out that I can’t celebrate Rachel Hook’s birthday with her at The Receiver show. (Happiest Birthday soon, dear friend!) And unfortunately, I remembered this week when I lost my grandfather. I wanted (and if I’m honest, still want) nothing more than to be home.

My grandfather, Floyd Buchanan, was not a man I knew well. In fact, it’s just been over the past few years that I began seeing him again annually. My brother and I tagged him as a ‘fictional character’ in regards to his funny antics. He was a slow moving, jokester, to say the least: a grandpa. I remember the things he’d love to say to me (include thick accent, please), “Girl, there ain’t nothin’ to you.” Or, “How much do you weigh?” And of course, “You look just like your mama.” He had a way of complimenting me, and putting a smile on my face.

I have warm memories of spending time with my brother, cousins, and Aunt, in Southern Missoura where my grandfather lived. We rode four wheelers that were far too large for our little bodies. I learned to drive a go-kart. We ate dozens of What-cha-ma-kulits. And because I was the youngest- I found the movies we watched to be terrifying, while no one else really did (Children of the Corn, Kujo). And it was in Missouri that I’d adopt a southern accent naturally, for a few weeks. My grandfather undoubtedly accompanies each and every one of those distant memories.

More than anything, my grandfather was the father of my father- he is my flesh and blood- my family. And the only people in our lives that we cannot choose, are our families. God chooses them for us. It sets them apart, by far. He has woven our ancestors, the parents of our parents, into the tapestry of our lives, and we are who we are, because of them. I feel a certain awe when I think of my grandparents in this light. And to put it simply, I am sad that he is gone.

My dad says that my grandfather is in heaven, and he’s as young as he’s ever been. I will celebrate and be confident in this.

Hello, June!

It comforts me to know that the weather is warming up in Ohio, and that similarly, it’s warm here. Perpetually. The reason I say that is because any time I see snow, or mention snow, or autumn for that matter, I become very nostalgic and miss home. So, cheers to the warmth!

I’ll have you know, I’m so excited about this month! And I have to admit, I feel rather accomplished that I’ve made it this far. When I count the months on my fingers, I’m always impressed with myself. January.. February.. March.. you get the point.

So, it seems that the past several weeks have been bursting with one notion in particular. A friend of my dad’s, who was in great shape, passed away suddenly of a heart attack. My dear friend Sarah, here in Suratthani, lost her grandfather. A young boy in our town died in a car accident. Our newest teacher of one month, headed back to the U.S. yesterday because her grandfather was given 2 weeks to live. And I’ve just learned that a fellow I know here in Thailand has cancer. I’ve been thinking of nothing but the idea that life is fragile.

The course in which I processed this idea has been complex, and an ongoing one. At first I was fearful, and ridiculously homesick. The thought of being away from dear friends and family for just one second was killing me. I kept wondering if it was worth the experience here to be away from home, and I was never satisfied with what I came up with in my mind. I ran myself in circles, into a pretty sad state. But then I listened to ‘Big Rich’- Rich Nathan- in his Challenge of Death message and was reminded of the one who has overcome death! I find great comfort in knowing that God is above all things, even death. In the gospel of John, Jesus says, “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” In Jesus we have comfort and security- something I believe cannot be found anywhere else.

But still.. I continue to think on this idea: life, here on this earth, is fragile. It convinces me once more that it’s important to live in this moment. Right now. What should I do with it? Should I worry? Of course, not. Should I be angered? No. Death puts life into perspective, doesn’t it?

I’ve always been a quotation fanatic, so I’d like to use a few individual’s thoughts to express some of the deductions I’ve also come to.

“Don’t strew me with roses after I’m dead.
When Death claims the light of my brow.
No flowers of life will cheer me: instead
Give me my roses now!”
(Thomas F. Healey)

Oh, the importance of showing and verbalizing love to the ones dearest to you, now!

Let children walk with Nature, let them see the beautiful blendings and communions of death and life, their joyous inseperable unity, as taught in the woods and meadows, plains and mountains and streams of our blessed star, and they will learn that death is stingless indeed, and as beautiful as life.
(John Muir)

I always seem to make somethin’ out of nothin’.

(I made a new friend right before I came to Thailand- and thanks to his reconciliation with the ‘ole Post Office, I am able to benefit from his terrific musical taste. Hi, Case! Thanks for the Vetiver- from whom I am stealing a lyric for today’s blog post.)

So I’ve learned quite a few things about myself while living in Thailand- one of them simply being that I’ve changed over the years- not only in hair color, age, and location, but also in some other ways. In residing with a few wonderful girls in college, who were much cleaner than I, I’ve adopted some of their ways of living. Girls (and parents), you’re not going to believe this, but I make my bed every morning, and I wash dishes immediately after using them. When this change occurred, I cannot be certain, but it has. In addition to cleanliness, I’ve become ridiculously organized- ask my co-workers. I make to-do lists like you wouldn’t believe. I practically make to-do lists about my to-do lists. So I’ve decided that whenever I haven’t an inspirational thought to offer (like now), I’ll just make a list. Are you down with this?

Today my list is a bit cliché- but nevertheless, it is as follows:

Top 10 Things I Love About Thailand
(in no particular order)

1. Fame: If you’re a foreigner living in Surat Thani, it’s the equivalent of having made several major motion pictures in the States. Everyone wants to say hello to you, tell you that you are beautiful, and sometimes they even want to take pictures with you. And no, it never gets old.

2. Smiles: The smiles you offer to friends and strangers alike are always reciprocated. It beats the whole ‘look away and act awkward’ response that is more common in the west.

3. The Wai: This is a greeting, and moreover a sign of respect- when you bring your hands in a bit of a prayer position near your chin, elbows in, and drop your head a bit. I never tire of the wai. It’s a beautiful tradition.

4. Good Eats: My staple Thai diet includes spicy papaya salad, cashew chicken, fried rice, shrimp tempura, and dragon fruit. Aroi, mai? (translation: delicious, no?)

5. Thai Kids: By this point I think I’ve made it abundantly clear that Thai children are fantastic, and I absolutely adore my job. Some of the coolest people I think I’ve ever known are Cartoon (age 4), Kong (age 4), and Boat (age 13). Boo yaw.

6. Breeze: A cool Thai breeze is a thing of great comfort and relief. There is absolutely nothing like waking up to a cool morning in this town.

7. My Ride: It’s orange, it’s quick, and it has a bell- that’s my bicycle! Oh, and I’m also saving the environment one day at a time. My Chevy is but a distant dream.

8. Time: Everything is slower in Thailand, and you end up with significant down time- whether you like it or not. Personally, I’ve finally been able to read some books, write some things, and learn some music. (I guess now I have no excuse for not updating my blog more often. Oops!)

9. Snail Mail: I love writing and I love receiving. It’s just that simple.

10. Perspective: Traveling half-way around the globe gives you some. You see the way other people live, how they survive, what they value, what they find joy in. It’s not always better or worse, it’s simply different. But alas, it changes you.

We’ll catch up in June, my friends. ‘Til then!

You can take the road that takes you to the stars.

Thank you, Jason, coolest boss of all time, who will probably never see this blog post- for your wonderful mix. Title comes from Nick Drake’s song, Road.

Okay- let us all take a moment to congratulate me- I’ve made it 4 months, people! Yesterday was my anniversary! Yes, I’ve been counting. At first a year seemed like such a very long time. But perhaps it’s not so long at all?

I’m finding that because I have this limited amount of time in Thailand, I check up on myself more often. Reflect more. For instance, tonight as I was journaling I tried to note the ways in which I’ve changed, the things I’ve learned in these past months. I’m certainly learning to be less anxious. I think I’m also learning to be less important. I’ve always been a bit of a social butterfly- and living in a small community has been hard for me. But I think I’ve finally embraced it. I may not have hundreds of friends here, and may not feel as ‘important’ as I do back home, but I’m finding that loving the few I’m surrounded with is incredibly valuable- in both my life and theirs. It reminds me of a quote my brother Clarke sent to me not too long ago, “It’s not necessary to be important, but it’s important to be necessary.” So in short, reflection. It’s good, it’s refreshing. Do it.

Additionally, as I had mentioned in my last post, I’m taking this time to really develop my goals and dreams. What more would I like to learn in Thailand? What more would I like to do? And the biggest question of all- what dream do I have for my life after Thailand? Dreams don’t come overnight I’ve found. They develop over time, don’t they? In my nutshell, I’d like to learn more Thai, I’d like to become a better teacher, and as I always hope to do, I’d like to learn to love God and love people better. As far as dreams go, if I’m honest, I haven’t got much of a clue. I’m passionate about children, justice, and peace. It’s taken a few years for these passions to develop, so I figure in the next moments, months, and years to come my dreams will become more concrete. I’m a big believer in dreams. They are something to hope in, something to move toward. Whether it’s the dream of writing a song, or bringing peace to an entire people, it’s believing in the possibility that drives us, makes us better, and brings us together.

So perhaps today you might reflect some. Check in. And dream!!

(Because you can never have enough pictures of the little ones!)

Dream catch me when I fall.

Hello, hello! I’ll have you know, this post finds me having just returned from a relaxing trip to Chiang Mai, Northern Thailand. I am unashamed to admit that I spent a lot of my time there simply hanging out, eating good food, drinking good wine, and just enjoying a true ‘holiday’. I am beginning to understand why people in the ‘adult’ world long for their vacations!

What did I find in Chiang Mai? Well! I found myself in a mall the first day- I know it sounds boring, but it turned out to be a true case of culture shock. I had forgotten about all of the products and comforts of the western world that are unavailable in Surat Thani- but it seems many of them can be found in Chiang Mai! I was in awe of lip gloss that I would probably never buy back home, an Apple store, and a movie theatre that plays films in English! I saw X-Men Origins: Wolverine, and was on the edge of my seat the entire time. Oh, am I far too easily pleased?

Don’t worry- I didn’t spend all of my days there- I found myself exploring Chiang Mia by bicycle, stopping at practically all of the wats (Buddhist temples) along the way. Chiang Mai is a clean, and in my opinion, hoppin’ city. I was even able to check out their University, with an art building not all that different from the Wex. For me, there’s nothing like an afternoon museum stroll. And oh, how I love finding hints of home in a country half-way around the world.

Let’s talk about elephants. The highlight of my trip was spending a day at Elephant Nature Park- where practically all of the elephants have been rescued from the hands of street begging and abuse. I spent the day in awe of these creatures, fed them, and even hopped in the river for a bath with them that afternoon. I think I cleaned approximately 2 feet by 2 feet of one of the elephant’s bodies- but at least I tried. Elephants are incredible animals, and my heart broke at the thought of the way so many of them are manipulated in Thailand. It’s interesting- because elephants are greatly revered here, but are equally abused and mistreated. How do we humans find ourselves in such predicaments? And it’s amazing to think that we have the capacity to manipulate such a large and intelligent creature. We as individuals are capable of so much, aren’t we? How and where will we direct all of our strength and energy? I’m finding that I want my time in Thailand to be time in which I decide just this- where would I like my dreams to take me, and how would I like to use my capacity as a human being to create change. I’m excited about this- and I’ll be sure to keep you in the loop!


Happy reading friends, and above all else, Happy Mother’s Day! I am grateful today because I have an incredible, strong mother whom I admire dearly. I will always stand behind the belief that my mom truly is the best in the world. I love you, mom! Thank you for always generously giving me strength, support, and an example of how to live passionately and deeply. Your character and beauty is beyond words, and you are SO missed. Muah!

I'm so paid.

This title comes from a super cool mix from my mom. Who would've thought we'd end up liking each other's music some day? Love you mom! (Oh- and in case you're looking for significance, it's just referring to the idea that I actually have a job. And I'm so paid- in Thai baht.)

So, today was a fantastic day. Nothing out of the ordinary happened, but it was one of those days where I felt that my eyes were wide open to all that was around me.

I began my day by drinking some delicious American coffee (which probably origniated in a country that's actually closer to me now) fresh from the French press- and I said out loud, “Man, this coffee is good.” Then at the school I finished decorating my bulletin boards in my class room. It’s absolutely nerdy that I got excited about this, but I felt so accomplished. To top off my day, I was able to Skype with a dear friend- Rachel Welty. We talked of traveling, of poetry, of books and friends (well- I talked, Rachel typed- our connection was a bit off). I laughed out loud and thought once more, this is good.

I only wish that I could learn to appreciate such details in every day that is to come. How can I better live with my eyes wide open? I think slowing down is part of it. I think in this Thai culture I am learning to slow down more- a characteristic that I think my American upbringing and life opposes. I don’t know that there’s a formula to achieving this, but what a delight it is- to slow down long enough to actually take in all that is around you.

So, cheers to slowing down and taking a look around. Let me in on what YOU find, will you?

(Note: Matt and Karla, my Skype session with Rachel has not superseded yours. I found our time hilarious and refreshing. Tell me again, where do you live? Santa Cruz? Santa Monica? Santa Clause? I love you two!)

Okay, okay. So here are my bulletin boards. Off the chain, right?

Couldn’t possibly tell you how I mean (but I can dance, dance, dance.)

I can always count on you for ridiculously good music Miss Allie Klein! Much thanks for your thoughtfulness.

Alas, here I am!! I’m sorry it’s been so long. I hadn’t noticed that it’s been almost an entire month since I’ve written. Oops! And thank you so, so much, to those of you who express interest in my blog. You have no idea how much it warms my heart and makes me smile. I am ever so grateful for people who take the time (and even have the ability) to express the way that they feel. I think we could all do this a little bit more.

Okay.. in all honesty, I’m still processing my trip to Cambodia. I haven’t a clue where to begin, and certainly wouldn’t know where to end. But as I said before, I think we could all do a little more expressing of how we feel and what we learn, so here goes.

I guess I’ll start by saying that Cambodia is a country of great sorrow, and great beauty- the sorrow being much easier to recognize. The first city we visited, Phnom Penh, is home to more than 20,000 street children alone. It pains me to think that we can reduce human beings to numbers. I know it’s necessary, but I wish I could show you 1 by 1 all of the faces that are represented by that statistic. I met many of them, was able to speak and play games with a dozen of them, and I have found that they are just like you and me. They eat, breathe, laugh, cry, hurt. Of course, their lives look different than ours, don’t they? It’d be silly to act as if they do not. Many of them are without a bed, without a home, without a father or a mother. Oh, man, my heart. These children don’t desire great things, they desire to be cared for, looked after, known. It’s hard to believe that we fall short of offering even that, so often.

Such poverty paralyzes people and leaves them disgusted, often unable to act because they don’t know how. I don’t have all of the answers, but I’ll let you in on what I’ve found. Being aware and conscious of the presence of poverty and injustice is a start. I know how easy it is to forget (‘out of sight, out of mind’) when I’m back home, and actually, even in Thailand, because the problems are so hidden. Then, you must find ways to act. Your action will certainly differ from mine, and from another’s, but action must come to fruition. I remember my dad talking to me about whether I wanted to be a Bono or a Mother Teresa- both sought ways to relieve poverty, but each took such different paths. Bono continues to find ways to reach the masses through music and great creativity, while Mother Theresa got down in the dirt and loved individuals deeply with great detail and care. I can’t say that I’ve carved out my path for certain, but I try to keep myself educated, and I try to keep my eyes wide open for opportunities. Sponsoring a child in another country, purchasing Fair Trade coffee, simplifying your life, praying for the world, are all things you might consider in taking steps towards justice.

One thing I know for sure is that you musn’t let poverty paralyze you. I still believe whole-heartedly in what I expressed in my last blog- love is it. If you can’t love the person next to you, how could you possibly love the world and those who are being manipulated and oppressed in it? Now, most of you know me, and know that I believe in Jesus. It’d be impossible to write these thoughts without expressing that I find that he is my source of life. In him I find the ability to be loving, compassionate, self-sacrificing. Of course, I’m not always this way. I’m only human. But I find that in him there is absolutely nothing but love and goodness and justice. Whether or not you believe this to be true- I hold tightly to the promise that in him all things will be made new. In Jesus the world will be restored, and each one of those street children will know justice and love. In the depths of despair, God is deeper still.

I hope that I’ve articulated something worthwhile today. I’ll continue to process, and continue to write, as long as you continue to read. I’ll leave you with this.

‘Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired.’ (Mother Teresa)

May we find great energy to love each other creatively, deeply, and honestly.

Hush now, don't explain, you're the cause of all my trouble and pain.

Thank you, Rachel Hook, for your musical taste. This title comes from 'Don't Explain' by Cat Power.

I’ve never been much of a history buff, and unfortunately, I lack the ability to summarize any historical event well. But- I will tell you what I know.

I know that in the 1970’s Cambodia came under the control of the Khmer Rouge- a corrupt communist regime. Khmer Rouge leaders were obsessed with the idea that their rule and revolution in Cambodia be "pure." Their revolution was characterized by such principles as: no tolerance for individuality, they believed intelligence was a threat, and therefore executed college students, teachers, and doctors in particular. The Khmer Rouge’s ideology regarding Cambodian people was, “to preserve you is no gain, to destroy you is no loss.” They only sought to create a ‘perfect’ agrarian, self-sufficient society. Somewhere along the way their value of the human life was completely lost. Their ugly dreams took precedence over humanity.

Under Khmer Rouge rule, the country saw famine, injustice, and genocide. In three-and-a-half years, out of a population of eight million people, more than two million people had died. It was one of the most lethal regimes of the 20th century.

I’ve been having a really hard time just studying, and learning of these events in Cambodia. It’s hard to believe that this all happened, not so long ago. It’s impossible to believe that such a regime could ever exist. How could it? Why didn’t anyone stop it? I suppose we ask these questions of all the genocides that line our world’s history. It’s devastating. It’s hard to swallow. It’s simply unjustifiable. But then we ask, what could we have done? What can we do?

Maybe I’m a bit of a hippie, but can we not just love? And I don’t mean simply our families, our friends. Can we not try to love those that we think are impossible to love, those that are so different from us? Our enemies even? How did we even come to make enemies in the first place? It seems I’m asking many a question, and giving few answers. But I think they are questions that are important to find answers to, not simply think on.

I think Martin Luther King Jr. had it right when he said, “Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, ‘What are you doing for others?’” Because if we haven’t each other, what do we have?

Alas, the wheels in my head are turning, and I think this post has become rather complicated. I hope you have found some worth in it. I’ll be in Cambodia soon- and I will write on what I find there.

(If you want to read more on Cambodia's history, check out http://www.mekong.net/cambodia/)

'Cause when it's over all that matters is the love you gave away.

I've decided to quote songs for titles whenever I am able, to express my gratitude for the beautiful soundtracks I've received from dear friends. Those words were sung by Rosie Thomas, given to me via mixed CD by my beautiful friend Lorah Campbell. Thank you, pal!

I haven't much to say, seeing as I'm working on a Cambodian History (don't worry- it's not too lengthy) post that I hope to put up soon! So I thought you might just like to meet some more of my students.

(This is Name. Age 7. Think he might have trouble introducing himself if he travels abroad?)

(This is Kampan. Age 5. He likes yellow.)

(This is Lucien. Age 4. Okay, so, she's not really my student, but she visits me everyday.)

(Students with their really awesome teacher!)

Fact: One should receive 13 hugs a day for good health.

My apologies, my friends! I’ve received a few complaints about my lack of blogging in recent weeks. So. Please forgive me, Ali, Peter! I hope you haven’t forgotten me and my adventure!

Have you ever loved so deeply that it physically hurts you? My mom and I had a conversation about this not too long ago. When you love someone with your whole heart it’s as if it’s going to burst! Isn’t it? And in the absence of such loved ones you recognize how full your heart is, and it becomes heavy. Doesn’t it? Let me explain.

Thai culture is puzzling. The people are the kindest I’ve ever met in the world. They are full of life and of love. But it is a culture void of much affection. Physical touch is not prominent- particularly between men and women. It’s radical to see young teenagers holding hands with one another. As a result, Thai people are awful huggers. I don’t hold this against them (pun intended- cha-ching!), but it’s killing me in the whole ‘you are supposed to have 13 hugs a day for good health’ rule that I adhere to. To bring these two thoughts together- my heart is painfully heavy for a big hug and kiss from my mom and dad. I’m very fortunate in that both my parents are outstanding huggers. Love you mom! Love you pops! My friends, too, excel in the hugging department. I will never take your embraces for granted, ever again, my sweet friends.

(This is Sare- she's a good hugger here. Whew.)

It would be careless of me not to note, that while most Thai folk lack in the physical affection department, itty bitty children are excluded. My little (in stature, not quantity) Saturday class of 4 and 5 year olds probably fulfills my quota of hugs in the short 2 hours I spend with them. Oh, the beauty of children! They are such incredible people, and such natural huggers. Without them I would simply die. And while I cannot live without my little ones, some of the older children I teach are remarkable as well. I recently asked 11 year-old Noodee, “If you had one million baht, what would you do with it?” After a delicate pause she replied, “I would buy clothing for children who have no parents.” I do believe we’ve got a little social activist on our hands. Oh, the ways in which these children inspire me! And their imaginations are unlike anything I’ve known in such a long time. They are full of creativity. We have much to learn from children and their perspectives.

“We find a delight in the beauty and happiness of children, that makes the heart too big for the body.”
(Emerson)


That our hearts could be bigger than our bodies! What burdens do we carry that children do not? Worry? Stress? Perhaps we should spend more time seeking peace, and less time building our schedules. Maybe we should take more time to do the things that we love, and spend time with those that we love. Perhaps we should reflect on life more! I know that this was a struggle of mine before I came to Thailand. Now that I am in a country of greater simplicity and ease I have been learning that joy is found in the smallest and quietest of occurrences. It is in a child’s hug, it is in a poem that makes you cry every time (from a book that your mother sent you across the ocean), it is in receiving an encouraging note from a friend, it is in receiving a compliment, it is learning to be thankful for an inhale and an exhale. It is in enduring the heaviness of heart because you are thankful to have the ability to love deeply.

I hope that today you look for, and find significance in moments that would otherwise just pass you by- that you might experience a delight that makes your heart far too big for your body.

One day at a time.

Once I posted a video of myself, I quickly decided that perhaps that wasn't such a great idea. I might lose a few friends as a result. Thus, I am swiftly writing another post to distract you.

I've been seeing elephants walk down Chonkasem (one of the main roads in Surat Thani that I work and live on) lately. I freak out every time. It's so amazing! I saw a baby elephant yesterday. What could be better? And I'm currently planning my holiday in April with my co-worker Erika. We're heading to Chiang Mai. Our main goal is to ride an elephant. And for me, that is my only goal. It must happen. Or else.

So what is new? I think I've finally found my groove. I feel comfortable teaching, riding motorbikes, and ordering food. Life is good. I also went to a beach a few weeks ago, got to hang out in a rice field, soak up the sun. I'll let the pictures speak for themselves.

I'll tell you what- last night I had an interesting conversation with my good mates, Tom and Sarah (why, yes, I did just say mate- as in, friend). We watched Slumdog Millionaire. Have you seen it? After the film we talked about poverty. And we talked about how interesting Thailand is in regards to it. It is a poor country.. but not in an in-your-face kind of way. I would've expected so much more. But Thailand seems to have all it needs right here- the food is abundant, it's not too hot, and most everyone has a roof over their heads. We then discussed the fact that most everyone seems to own small businesses- perhaps it's a coffee shop (like the one I am sitting in now), a corner store, a small restaurant. Often times these businesses don't last and they soon turn it into something else- a hair salon, another restaurant, etc. They do whatever brings in a little business, and they make enough to survive and live well, by Thai standards. We've noticed that here, there isn't much discussion about dreams, future goals, desires. My initial reaction was sadness in this. How sad that these people don't have dreams, and don't think of what they could do, or be! But the more we discussed, the more I realized that perhaps I have no reason to feel sorry. It is simply a different way of thinking, of life. The Thai people may not be dreaming about the future because they have mastered the art of living for the day. The very thing I've been trying to do! I think I am in the perfect place for learning this. Dreams are beautiful and good, but they should not paralyze us in living now. This day has so much to offer- so much beauty to be seen, so many people to learn from, and grow with, so many chances to take. Today is a dream, and I should be thankful for it.

Dream, dream, dream! Dream of where you will go, what you will see, who you will meet- TODAY!

For your enjoyment, my embarrassment!

Help!

(Your wish is my command, Karla- a new post!)

I’ve been feeling a little bit of a Beatles tune deep down in my soul. It goes like this, “Help me if you can I’m feelin’down- and I do appreciate you ‘bein ‘round. Help me get my feet back on the ground. Won’t you please, please help me?”

Truth: I’ve been feeling rather lonely, thus the whole “help me” bit. I hate admitting this, because I’m in Thailand. It’s incredible. I shouldn’t be feeling anything but awe and wonder and enjoyment, right? Well, I hate to break it to you, but it’s still a huge adjustment, and I’m having to deal with newness all about me! It can be rather exhausting. This means one thing in particular- new community. And let’s be honest, why would I ever want to have a new community when back home I have the coolest friends known to man? Nevertheless, I am beginning to develop a new community here.

Okay- what I’m trying to get at is this- everybody needs a friend. Someone to laugh with, watch The Office with, hang with, talk deep with, you know. And it seems the older I get the harder it is to make friends. When we were young it was so easy to be cool, wasn’t it?- maybe you were the “new kid” as I often was, maybe you brought your dog to show and tell which made you extremely awesome, or perhaps your high top Chuck Taylors had glow-in-the-dark Halloween bats and ghosts puffy painted on them (Oh yeah, my brother Clarke had these. He became instantly rad at Maple Elementary, as I recall.) Either way, making friends was a bit of a sinch. But now I’m 23, in Thailand, and am without puffy paint to snazz up my kicks. So how am I supposed to make friends? Don’t worry, there’s good news- I have made a great friend, Sarah, and despite my lack of pets and fashion, and I do believe that her company will make life in Thailand all the greater. Therefore, I’m thrilled!! Things are looking up. And I am finding that it’s not always where you are, but who you’re with, that brings real life But it seems that I wouldn’t have necessarily realized this to the point that I have unless I had been here, in Thailand, away from my typical pals. So perhaps it IS about where you are. Analyze this, if you will.

Basically, this blog is a cheers to friendship. It is something none of us can last long without. It is a beautiful thing to connect and relate to one another. Cheers to new friendship, and to dear old friends who are never far from my thoughts. Here’s hoping that we love our friends as we should!

Okay, now please view this if you want to learn what real friendship is all about:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XVoCJJFuS60

(Note: This video was shown to me by one of my best friends, Meg. What a laugh. Love you so much!)

(Additional Note: Tom, Sarah's husband, is also very, very cool. He is a great mate (as in, friend) and he may or may not have implied that he'd be sad if I didn't mention him. Hah!)

Ray LaMontagne speaks to me. (sings to me).

Don’t let your soul get lonely, child it’s only time, it will go by..
(Ray LaMontagne)

Ah yes. Time. I’ve been a bit of a wreck as far as thinking about the fact that I will be living in another country that is completely unfamiliar (right now), for an entire year. 365 days. AHH! I often doubt that I can do it. I love my family and friends too much, I say. And all of my dreams are about being in the States- so this doesn’t help much! But each day does get easier. And I am holding to Ray’s words, “time it will go by.” It’s difficult, because I certainly don’t want to wish my days away and rush my experience, but I equally hope in the future when I will see all that is familiar, and all those that I love, again! Oh, to be able to live in the moment! It’s something I think we all aspire to do- but I often fall short of. I will continue to try and master this skill, and let you know how it goes.

While 365 days does seem like a long time, I’ve just calculated that I have already been here for 28 days! And Thailand is beginning to feel familiar. I can ride my bicycle to the post office, to restaurants, and most importantly, to the coffee shop. YES, little Surat Thani, Thailand, has a coffee shop. And a seriously good one at that. It’s called My Cup. And it is my cup of tea! (especially on weekends). The atmosphere is comfortable, the java delightful. It’s as if I’m in a little coffee shop down the street in Clintonville. It’s a taste of home, and I’m addicted (to coffee and the shop).



Oh, by the way, I am a teacher. I really am, now! It’s amazing. Amidst all of the Malay madness, and adjusting to the culture, I had forgotten that I have my first ‘real job’. It’s totally a real job, guys. Who knew it would happen to me? I work a good, long work week, teaching and lesson planning, and loving, loving the kids. Every week I adore them more. It will be hard to leave them. But because of this fact, I will warn you that my blogs may be more few and far between. But I will try hard to be faithful and blog every week. Forgive me if I fall off the face of the earth. But the gravity is the same over here in Asia, so I shouldn’t! hah. Lame humor. But seriously.

This is me being honest and telling you that I miss you and the States, dearly, today. So go out there and miss me, too. hah!

(This is Cartoon- he's totally incredible! He just learned how to write his name. Go, Cartoon!!)

Commiserating With Bilbo.

"I should think so- in these parts! We are plain quiet folk and have no use for adventures. Nasty disturbing uncomfortable things! Make you late for dinner! I can't think what anybody sees in them," said our Mr. Baggins.

Last Saturday I ventured off- via night train- to Malaysia with my co-worker Shaun, to quickly grab my visa, and come right back to Thailand. This was the plan. The reality became, that because of the Chinese New Year the Thai Embassy was closed! Shaun had to return to Thailand to teach, leaving me ALL ALONE in Malaysia. It seemed a nasty, disturbing, and uncomfortable thing. I was not excited in the slightest, and I was certain I would book the next flight back to the United States. My dad encouraged me otherwise. He reminded me of my strength and my faith, and even urged me, "HAVE FUN!!!!". So I told him I would.

And I did! That afternoon I met 6 wonderful Wisconsin girls who I was able to spend the day with after Shaun headed back. We went to the beach, spent time at the night market, and had wonderful conversation about faith, life, our common experience with Ecuador. I often wonder if they weren't just angels tending me while I would have otherwise had a serious breakdown. I am so grateful for them! They left the next morning, and I was hopeful I would make more friends. 3 young gentlemen from my hostel invited me to lunch, and would you believe I had fun? They forced me to eat a ridiculous amount of Malay food (the best I've ever had in my entire life- seriously. Malay food. That's where it's at.) And again, good times were had by all.

I spent most of the last day exploring Georgetown. I discovered a few little English bookstores and picked up The Hobbit. In it, Bilbo sets off on an adventure he isn't quite sure of, and as the story unravels he begins to learn a lot about life, the world, and himself. Do you see where I'm going with this? I, too, am learning a lot about the world, and myself. I'm learning that I am not nearly as strong and independent as I once thought. I am quite weak, actually. But in this, I am learning how strong and faithful God is- in a real way. He provided for me when I was hopeless, and in the midst of it I was able to even see so much of his beauty. (Parts of Malaysia really are quite incredible- and the people are SO diverse.)

Speaking of providing- when I see the poverty (it was so much worse in Malaysia than it is in Thailand), I have to remember God's compassion and his promise of justice.

My whole being will exclaim,
"Who is like you, O Lord?
You rescue the poor from those too strong for them,
the poor and needy from those who rob them."
(Psalm 35:10)

It is a beautiful thing- in God I find the ability to love the oppressed and poor better, and in him I trust that ALL of his people will be restored. Perhaps I will blog more about this at a later date- it is close to my heart! Which makes me think of all you Peacemakers back home- miss you!!

In short, my trip in Malaysia was uncomfortable and difficult, but it was worth every minute- because in it I think I built a little bit of character. In traveling alone you really find who you are (far from home, friends, and anything familiar), how much strength you have (or don't have), and you discover more of what adventure really is.

Turning pages..

St. Augustine wrote, "The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only one page." So here I am, in Southern Thailand, turning pages.

I'm sorry, my followers, that I haven't written more. Our Internet access is few and far between at home, and I'm not always feeling creative enough in the office to blog! At least.. I hope you find my blogs somewhat creative and worth reading. I recall that when I returned home from Ecuador, the first thing my father said to me was, "Blog-o? More like lame-o!!" So here is my attempt, Pops, at being a more faithful blogger!!

First of all, can I state, that for the record, nearly 100% of all Thai people smile back at you when you flash them a smile. This could perhaps be the most thrilling experience of all time- seeing as I'm a rather smiley person myself. It's refreshing to be living in a culture where stress is minimal, anger is not practiced, and joy is abounding. The Thai culture is much warmer than I could have ever imagined (in both personality and temperature, of course!) Oh yes- don't you worry, my dry humor will work it's way into these posts I'm sure!

I'd be lying if I didn't admit I have experienced some homesickness. I'm halfway around the world, can you blame me? But the truth of the matter is, where I work, Mathus (http://www.mathusthai.com/), is truly a community. I work, live, and hang out with a handful of wonderful folks. I'm practically never alone. This has made for an easy transition.

What is my favorite part of Thailand, you ask? Simple. The KIDS! Oh my gosh, am I going to enjoy my job! I technically work at a high school for 2 classes, and have 3 classes at Mathus. The high school kids are a handful (still cute, but somewhat terribly behaved), but the Mathus after-school kids are a blast. They are motivated, kind, and say the cutest things. And they make you feel loved. Who doesn't love being loved?

I'm also "turning another page" if you will, tonight, as I board a night train to Malaysia! I'm going to get my working Visa, but I'm spending a day in Penang- beach, beach, beach! It's also the Chinese New Year, so celebrations will be near. I'll blog about it- I promise.

What am I learning? A lesson I've probably learned many a time before.. but yet here I am, learning it again. It is that we are all the same. We all have big hearts, needs, families, hurts, passions, weaknesses, hopes, dreams, challenges. And we should love each other in it. Actually- I'm reminded of a quotation I saw on the tram at Denver Airport when I was visiting my mom for Christmas. It said..

"If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility."
(Henry Wadsworth Longfellow)

I wish my name was Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. Anyway, I'm learning to love in a new culture. To love unconditionally. To love people that are so different than I am. I'm learning what it is to be misunderstood (I can barely count to 10 in Thai, let alone have any sort of conversation yet.) Funny isn't it? While becoming a teacher, I'm continually learning.

Okay, one more quote! Everyday, when I'm faced with something I'm uncomfortable with, or dislike, I just remind myself that I am doing what I love. And I should love what I do. ("Do what you love. Love what you do.")

May we love whatever we are doing today. Thanks for reading! 'Til we meet again.

(Ps- I'm going to take this opportunity to strongly encourage you to write me. hah!)

Mathus Language School

Attention: Hilary Buchanan

359/31 Chonkasem Rd, Makhamtia, Muang,

Suratthani, Thailand 84000