I'm so paid.

This title comes from a super cool mix from my mom. Who would've thought we'd end up liking each other's music some day? Love you mom! (Oh- and in case you're looking for significance, it's just referring to the idea that I actually have a job. And I'm so paid- in Thai baht.)

So, today was a fantastic day. Nothing out of the ordinary happened, but it was one of those days where I felt that my eyes were wide open to all that was around me.

I began my day by drinking some delicious American coffee (which probably origniated in a country that's actually closer to me now) fresh from the French press- and I said out loud, “Man, this coffee is good.” Then at the school I finished decorating my bulletin boards in my class room. It’s absolutely nerdy that I got excited about this, but I felt so accomplished. To top off my day, I was able to Skype with a dear friend- Rachel Welty. We talked of traveling, of poetry, of books and friends (well- I talked, Rachel typed- our connection was a bit off). I laughed out loud and thought once more, this is good.

I only wish that I could learn to appreciate such details in every day that is to come. How can I better live with my eyes wide open? I think slowing down is part of it. I think in this Thai culture I am learning to slow down more- a characteristic that I think my American upbringing and life opposes. I don’t know that there’s a formula to achieving this, but what a delight it is- to slow down long enough to actually take in all that is around you.

So, cheers to slowing down and taking a look around. Let me in on what YOU find, will you?

(Note: Matt and Karla, my Skype session with Rachel has not superseded yours. I found our time hilarious and refreshing. Tell me again, where do you live? Santa Cruz? Santa Monica? Santa Clause? I love you two!)

Okay, okay. So here are my bulletin boards. Off the chain, right?

Couldn’t possibly tell you how I mean (but I can dance, dance, dance.)

I can always count on you for ridiculously good music Miss Allie Klein! Much thanks for your thoughtfulness.

Alas, here I am!! I’m sorry it’s been so long. I hadn’t noticed that it’s been almost an entire month since I’ve written. Oops! And thank you so, so much, to those of you who express interest in my blog. You have no idea how much it warms my heart and makes me smile. I am ever so grateful for people who take the time (and even have the ability) to express the way that they feel. I think we could all do this a little bit more.

Okay.. in all honesty, I’m still processing my trip to Cambodia. I haven’t a clue where to begin, and certainly wouldn’t know where to end. But as I said before, I think we could all do a little more expressing of how we feel and what we learn, so here goes.

I guess I’ll start by saying that Cambodia is a country of great sorrow, and great beauty- the sorrow being much easier to recognize. The first city we visited, Phnom Penh, is home to more than 20,000 street children alone. It pains me to think that we can reduce human beings to numbers. I know it’s necessary, but I wish I could show you 1 by 1 all of the faces that are represented by that statistic. I met many of them, was able to speak and play games with a dozen of them, and I have found that they are just like you and me. They eat, breathe, laugh, cry, hurt. Of course, their lives look different than ours, don’t they? It’d be silly to act as if they do not. Many of them are without a bed, without a home, without a father or a mother. Oh, man, my heart. These children don’t desire great things, they desire to be cared for, looked after, known. It’s hard to believe that we fall short of offering even that, so often.

Such poverty paralyzes people and leaves them disgusted, often unable to act because they don’t know how. I don’t have all of the answers, but I’ll let you in on what I’ve found. Being aware and conscious of the presence of poverty and injustice is a start. I know how easy it is to forget (‘out of sight, out of mind’) when I’m back home, and actually, even in Thailand, because the problems are so hidden. Then, you must find ways to act. Your action will certainly differ from mine, and from another’s, but action must come to fruition. I remember my dad talking to me about whether I wanted to be a Bono or a Mother Teresa- both sought ways to relieve poverty, but each took such different paths. Bono continues to find ways to reach the masses through music and great creativity, while Mother Theresa got down in the dirt and loved individuals deeply with great detail and care. I can’t say that I’ve carved out my path for certain, but I try to keep myself educated, and I try to keep my eyes wide open for opportunities. Sponsoring a child in another country, purchasing Fair Trade coffee, simplifying your life, praying for the world, are all things you might consider in taking steps towards justice.

One thing I know for sure is that you musn’t let poverty paralyze you. I still believe whole-heartedly in what I expressed in my last blog- love is it. If you can’t love the person next to you, how could you possibly love the world and those who are being manipulated and oppressed in it? Now, most of you know me, and know that I believe in Jesus. It’d be impossible to write these thoughts without expressing that I find that he is my source of life. In him I find the ability to be loving, compassionate, self-sacrificing. Of course, I’m not always this way. I’m only human. But I find that in him there is absolutely nothing but love and goodness and justice. Whether or not you believe this to be true- I hold tightly to the promise that in him all things will be made new. In Jesus the world will be restored, and each one of those street children will know justice and love. In the depths of despair, God is deeper still.

I hope that I’ve articulated something worthwhile today. I’ll continue to process, and continue to write, as long as you continue to read. I’ll leave you with this.

‘Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired.’ (Mother Teresa)

May we find great energy to love each other creatively, deeply, and honestly.