I haven't much to say. Just wanted to check in with you today. Because while my troubles have seemed plenty, I'm finally feeling myself again. Whew! I think we can all admit that we like me more when I'm myself rather than covered in homesick tears. And so, I came across this quote which encompasses the way I feel about trials and tribulations. Well- at least the way I feel now- and hopefully will the next time troubles come my way.
"I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I've bought a big bat. I'm all read you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!"
(Dr.Seuss)
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Saturday, June 13, 2009
It's just like the present, to be showing up like this.
A child needs a grandparent, to grow a little more securely into an unfamiliar world.
(Charles and Ann Morse)
Sometimes I completely forget that I’m half-way around the world. But then- I remember when I hop online to buy a domestic plane ticket up to Bangkok for a weekend, that I’m not in Ohio anymore. I remember when I stop and actually listen to everyone around me- ‘why, they’re not speaking English!!’ I remember when I bum out that I can’t celebrate Rachel Hook’s birthday with her at The Receiver show. (Happiest Birthday soon, dear friend!) And unfortunately, I remembered this week when I lost my grandfather. I wanted (and if I’m honest, still want) nothing more than to be home.
My grandfather, Floyd Buchanan, was not a man I knew well. In fact, it’s just been over the past few years that I began seeing him again annually. My brother and I tagged him as a ‘fictional character’ in regards to his funny antics. He was a slow moving, jokester, to say the least: a grandpa. I remember the things he’d love to say to me (include thick accent, please), “Girl, there ain’t nothin’ to you.” Or, “How much do you weigh?” And of course, “You look just like your mama.” He had a way of complimenting me, and putting a smile on my face.
I have warm memories of spending time with my brother, cousins, and Aunt, in Southern Missoura where my grandfather lived. We rode four wheelers that were far too large for our little bodies. I learned to drive a go-kart. We ate dozens of What-cha-ma-kulits. And because I was the youngest- I found the movies we watched to be terrifying, while no one else really did (Children of the Corn, Kujo). And it was in Missouri that I’d adopt a southern accent naturally, for a few weeks. My grandfather undoubtedly accompanies each and every one of those distant memories.
More than anything, my grandfather was the father of my father- he is my flesh and blood- my family. And the only people in our lives that we cannot choose, are our families. God chooses them for us. It sets them apart, by far. He has woven our ancestors, the parents of our parents, into the tapestry of our lives, and we are who we are, because of them. I feel a certain awe when I think of my grandparents in this light. And to put it simply, I am sad that he is gone.
My dad says that my grandfather is in heaven, and he’s as young as he’s ever been. I will celebrate and be confident in this.
(Charles and Ann Morse)
Sometimes I completely forget that I’m half-way around the world. But then- I remember when I hop online to buy a domestic plane ticket up to Bangkok for a weekend, that I’m not in Ohio anymore. I remember when I stop and actually listen to everyone around me- ‘why, they’re not speaking English!!’ I remember when I bum out that I can’t celebrate Rachel Hook’s birthday with her at The Receiver show. (Happiest Birthday soon, dear friend!) And unfortunately, I remembered this week when I lost my grandfather. I wanted (and if I’m honest, still want) nothing more than to be home.
My grandfather, Floyd Buchanan, was not a man I knew well. In fact, it’s just been over the past few years that I began seeing him again annually. My brother and I tagged him as a ‘fictional character’ in regards to his funny antics. He was a slow moving, jokester, to say the least: a grandpa. I remember the things he’d love to say to me (include thick accent, please), “Girl, there ain’t nothin’ to you.” Or, “How much do you weigh?” And of course, “You look just like your mama.” He had a way of complimenting me, and putting a smile on my face.
I have warm memories of spending time with my brother, cousins, and Aunt, in Southern Missoura where my grandfather lived. We rode four wheelers that were far too large for our little bodies. I learned to drive a go-kart. We ate dozens of What-cha-ma-kulits. And because I was the youngest- I found the movies we watched to be terrifying, while no one else really did (Children of the Corn, Kujo). And it was in Missouri that I’d adopt a southern accent naturally, for a few weeks. My grandfather undoubtedly accompanies each and every one of those distant memories.
More than anything, my grandfather was the father of my father- he is my flesh and blood- my family. And the only people in our lives that we cannot choose, are our families. God chooses them for us. It sets them apart, by far. He has woven our ancestors, the parents of our parents, into the tapestry of our lives, and we are who we are, because of them. I feel a certain awe when I think of my grandparents in this light. And to put it simply, I am sad that he is gone.
My dad says that my grandfather is in heaven, and he’s as young as he’s ever been. I will celebrate and be confident in this.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Hello, June!
It comforts me to know that the weather is warming up in Ohio, and that similarly, it’s warm here. Perpetually. The reason I say that is because any time I see snow, or mention snow, or autumn for that matter, I become very nostalgic and miss home. So, cheers to the warmth!
I’ll have you know, I’m so excited about this month! And I have to admit, I feel rather accomplished that I’ve made it this far. When I count the months on my fingers, I’m always impressed with myself. January.. February.. March.. you get the point.
So, it seems that the past several weeks have been bursting with one notion in particular. A friend of my dad’s, who was in great shape, passed away suddenly of a heart attack. My dear friend Sarah, here in Suratthani, lost her grandfather. A young boy in our town died in a car accident. Our newest teacher of one month, headed back to the U.S. yesterday because her grandfather was given 2 weeks to live. And I’ve just learned that a fellow I know here in Thailand has cancer. I’ve been thinking of nothing but the idea that life is fragile.
The course in which I processed this idea has been complex, and an ongoing one. At first I was fearful, and ridiculously homesick. The thought of being away from dear friends and family for just one second was killing me. I kept wondering if it was worth the experience here to be away from home, and I was never satisfied with what I came up with in my mind. I ran myself in circles, into a pretty sad state. But then I listened to ‘Big Rich’- Rich Nathan- in his Challenge of Death message and was reminded of the one who has overcome death! I find great comfort in knowing that God is above all things, even death. In the gospel of John, Jesus says, “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” In Jesus we have comfort and security- something I believe cannot be found anywhere else.
But still.. I continue to think on this idea: life, here on this earth, is fragile. It convinces me once more that it’s important to live in this moment. Right now. What should I do with it? Should I worry? Of course, not. Should I be angered? No. Death puts life into perspective, doesn’t it?
I’ve always been a quotation fanatic, so I’d like to use a few individual’s thoughts to express some of the deductions I’ve also come to.
“Don’t strew me with roses after I’m dead.
When Death claims the light of my brow.
No flowers of life will cheer me: instead
Give me my roses now!”
(Thomas F. Healey)
Oh, the importance of showing and verbalizing love to the ones dearest to you, now!
Let children walk with Nature, let them see the beautiful blendings and communions of death and life, their joyous inseperable unity, as taught in the woods and meadows, plains and mountains and streams of our blessed star, and they will learn that death is stingless indeed, and as beautiful as life.
(John Muir)
I’ll have you know, I’m so excited about this month! And I have to admit, I feel rather accomplished that I’ve made it this far. When I count the months on my fingers, I’m always impressed with myself. January.. February.. March.. you get the point.
So, it seems that the past several weeks have been bursting with one notion in particular. A friend of my dad’s, who was in great shape, passed away suddenly of a heart attack. My dear friend Sarah, here in Suratthani, lost her grandfather. A young boy in our town died in a car accident. Our newest teacher of one month, headed back to the U.S. yesterday because her grandfather was given 2 weeks to live. And I’ve just learned that a fellow I know here in Thailand has cancer. I’ve been thinking of nothing but the idea that life is fragile.
The course in which I processed this idea has been complex, and an ongoing one. At first I was fearful, and ridiculously homesick. The thought of being away from dear friends and family for just one second was killing me. I kept wondering if it was worth the experience here to be away from home, and I was never satisfied with what I came up with in my mind. I ran myself in circles, into a pretty sad state. But then I listened to ‘Big Rich’- Rich Nathan- in his Challenge of Death message and was reminded of the one who has overcome death! I find great comfort in knowing that God is above all things, even death. In the gospel of John, Jesus says, “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” In Jesus we have comfort and security- something I believe cannot be found anywhere else.
But still.. I continue to think on this idea: life, here on this earth, is fragile. It convinces me once more that it’s important to live in this moment. Right now. What should I do with it? Should I worry? Of course, not. Should I be angered? No. Death puts life into perspective, doesn’t it?
I’ve always been a quotation fanatic, so I’d like to use a few individual’s thoughts to express some of the deductions I’ve also come to.
“Don’t strew me with roses after I’m dead.
When Death claims the light of my brow.
No flowers of life will cheer me: instead
Give me my roses now!”
(Thomas F. Healey)
Oh, the importance of showing and verbalizing love to the ones dearest to you, now!
Let children walk with Nature, let them see the beautiful blendings and communions of death and life, their joyous inseperable unity, as taught in the woods and meadows, plains and mountains and streams of our blessed star, and they will learn that death is stingless indeed, and as beautiful as life.
(John Muir)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)