Hilary's Big Adventure(s)

it's good to have options.

2010-06-14T13:07:00.000-07:00

I’ve been learning lately. That’s good, right? I’ve taken a liking to having the ability to really provide for myself, to be more independent, (thus trying to learn more about sustainability), and have also been digging into the roots of what I believe as far as spirituality is concerned.

I want to preface this streamline of thought. It’s funny to write about these types of ‘adventures’, as opposed to my traveling ones. I find that it’s a lot more comfortable, and much easier to articulate the bizarre and wacky and profound that is experienced in exploring the world. It’s a bit more personal for me to write anything about what I’m about to. So bear with me, and forgive me if you don’t like it, please. And thank you!

Alas, let’s talk about independence and providing for one’s self. I’m not quite sure when I decided it was important, but I’ve certainly come to decide that it is. There’s something empowering and good about a simple life style. I’ve been lucky enough to know some people who live this out in a genuine manner. One being Patty, my dear farm host who taught me the ins and outs of gardening and compost last week. (She also gave me a crash course on how to love bunnies better. I quite liked this!) I guess I’ll take a moment to endorse WWOOF. It’s the World Wide Opportunities on Organic Farms- wwoof.org. It’s almost like couchsurfing, but farmsurfing! You can hook up with hosts to learn different skills, crash at their place, and get fed. It’s a good deal. One of Patty’s previous volunteers has been wwoofing the world for a year now. I should find his blog and connect you to it. I’ll get on that.

Let’s get back on track! It’s also a good idea to produce less trash, isn’t it? I know how humongous the Columbus landfill is, and I’m doing my best not to add to it. This means buying less, being more conscious of how I can reuse things, and recycling what I can. It looks like I’ve addressed the 3 R’s. Reduce, Reuse, and Recycle. Did you also know there is a 4th R? It’s Re-think. If you’re anything like me, you love to re-think. Everything. Sometimes to the point of exhaustion!

I’ve also been learning to knit, to sew, and to cook more. It’s really special to give gifts and use things that have been made with your own hands. They’ve got more character too. It’s also really exciting to eat your own food. Even more so if you’ve grown what you’re eating. Makes me wish I could time travel and spend time with the Native American Indians. Doesn’t it?

That’s my simplicity soap box. I hate to write bunches, because I don’t think anyone has time to sit and read long posts. I don’t totally dig them myself. So I’m going to leave it at that, and write more on my spiritual findings later.

By the way, I’ve found that often times when you use less, you can give more. And giving is good.

“Live simply, so others may simply live.”

reading is as good as writing.

2010-06-02T17:21:00.000-07:00

I've been really wanting to write and post, but just haven't felt all that inspired or able to articulate anything as of late. In turn, I've been reading more, and have re-visited some old things that I love. This is a piece from the book that my grandmother Betty was reading when she passed away.

I suggest you read this slowly, and take in it's imagery. I absolutely adore it.

Close to the Earth
(Alice Taylor)

Come to a quiet place,
A place so quiet
That you can hear
The grass grow.
Lie on the soft grass,
Run your fingers
Through the softness
Of its petals,
And listen:
Listen to the earth.
The warm earth,
The life pulse
Of us all.
Rest your body
Against its warmth;
Feel its greatness,
The pulse and throb,
The foundation
Of the world.
Look up into the sky,
The all-embracing sky,
The canopy of heaven.
How small
We really are:
Specks in the greatness
But still a part of it all.
We grow from the earth
And find
Our own place.

And so I write.

2010-05-12T12:08:00.001-07:00

My blog has become a bit dormant upon my return to the States, and I can't say that I'm happy about it. When I have an urge to write, I often have an urge to blog, and vice versa. So I haven't been writing much. At all. Anywhere. Sigh.

This must change! I typically don't write unless I have something to write on, but I've decided that if I want my writing to become more beautiful over time, perhaps I should be disciplined in writing simply to write.

There is always something to reflect on, isn't there? The streams of water down a window pane, the taste of coffee in the afternoon. These are things I know in this moment. Perhaps I can write of it. And I will.

Alas, you can read if you want to. (You can leave your friends behind. 'Cause your friends don't read. And if they don't read, well, they're no friends of mine! Thank you Men at Work for invading my head.)

I thought that I saw a light shine.

2010-03-21T19:15:00.000-07:00

There are nearly 7 billion human beings whose feet walk upon the globe. I think on who I know, and what I know of them. What a cornucopia of relationships make up our experience of life. Deep and broken in friendships, brief glances, secret admirers, beloved authors, baristas, familial bonds, Norwegian musicians. We are part of something beautiful.

Walking into a coffee shop, upon ordering a quick caffeine fix, I inquired about the script drawn across his arm. In Latin, "How quickly the glory of the world passes away." With an understanding heart and heavy thoughts, I entered into the sunshine happier for having met him.

We are incredible creatures. Even more so when we allow our souls to be exposed, if just for a moment.

It cannot be said enough, we are part of something oh so beautiful.

The sun it rises slowly as you walk.

2010-03-10T14:14:00.000-08:00

“It is something to be able to paint a particular picture, or to carve a statue, and so to make a few objects beautiful; but it is far more glorious to carve and paint the very atmosphere and medium through which we look, which morally we can do. To affect the quality of the day, that is the highest of arts.”

(Henry David Thoreau)

A friend of mine showed this quotation to me not too long ago, and I think on it nearly every day now. I think of the airport teller whose smile stretches as long as his native country, of the sunglasses far too big for the face of a little girl I caught sight of on the plane, of genuine smiles, kind words, polite gestures, and all of the things that either ease my day, or simply make it more beautiful, via human beings. It's really incredible to think of all the interactions that change my day, each day.

There are so many ways in which I can act, in turn, to be the kind of artist I desire to be. A painter of canvases covered in compliments, encouragements, thought-provoking questions. A sculptor of good deeds. A musician of songs that play generosity and compassion. And a writer of positivity. I think perhaps that's the kind of artist I'd like to be. Don't you?

Puppies go yip, yip, yip.

2010-03-02T18:45:00.000-08:00

I've never been much of a daily blogger. In fact, my blogging abilities were once quite poor. But! It seems the winds are changing direction, and a writing/sharing season is upon me. And this (cyber)place has become a bit of an outlet. I've been coming across so many beautiful things, and thinking lots of thoughts, and have desired a place for them. So here I am! More often, that is.

I wanted to share a really fantastic and adorable artist I came across yesterday when I courageously tackled the Denver Art Museum. (Note: There is something incredibly powerful in being a witness to the emotional, creative, expressive, parts of another human being without ever meeting them face to face. My heart really fills when I experience pieces I'm able to connect with, laugh about, learn from.) Man, I love museums.

Alas, the artist! His name is Charley Harper (1922-2007). His pieces are sweet, structured, colorful. I get a kick out of his work!

Video frenzy.

2010-03-02T18:27:00.000-08:00

In case you haven't noticed, I'm in the business of embedding videos as of late. So check this one out, for sure, and decide when you'll be heading to Southeast Asia with me.

a journey through asia from ivan vania on Vimeo.

Baleen Morning.

2010-03-01T15:02:00.000-08:00

Some things are so beautiful that even words won't do. Your heart fills, remembers, imagines. And you just feel. That's where I am today.

Is this the part where you let go?

2010-02-27T19:34:00.000-08:00

Today marks about a month. A month of living in the United States of America again, and a month of living without the life I came to love, adore, and live comfortably and cozy in. What has come of me, I wonder? And perhaps you do too. Which is why I'll write.

There is a song I've been listening to on repeat, and it speaks of the places in which you've lived, where you've laid your head, and of holding half an acre. I think of the acre of Thailand I hold, and will always, tight in whitened knuckles.

As for my acre? My acre is green, vast, and alive. My acre is not like anything I'd ever known, but it proved as welcoming as they come. I made some friends upon this acre. Some hung my laundry, others brewed me coffee when I was low, some sold me water and milk. Some of them even watched me cry, sat with me at the edge of my bed, and later made me laugh to better tears. I made a family there, and have been lonely for them. I've been lonely for little voices who mispronounce my name. Oh, what an acre. I've wanted to know the scent of that land deeply again. To take in it's fresh and lively perfumes that offered me great energy, that changed me, grew me. Is this the part where I let go? I'm certain I can't, and won't. I'll imagine the acre in my mind. And in the mean time, I'll explore this new acre of life ahead of me. It's budding with energy, and it seems to be beckoning me. Another half an acre of Ohio will simply have to do.

Oh, the acres knitted together. What a beautiful landscape, our life!

Somewhere over the earth.

2010-02-16T21:08:00.001-08:00

I’ve returned from an exotic place I’ve been, and it’s a bit strange to speak of a ‘big adventure’ that has turned quickly from coconuts and calm to my knees sunk deep in Ohio snow. But, yes! This is adventure, too. So I’ve come to write.

What is the odyssey that has been coming home? My bed isn’t as stiff as it should be, my trips to grab a bite have become 10 miles too long, and the little voices that once called on me each morning fade more and more each moment. But I have come home. And I recall longing desperately for home, and all its comfort and familiarities. But it seems that I am someone I haven’t always been, and for this reason all is not what I expected. Is it ever?

When I stepped off the plane I remember thinking ‘Business, blue tooths, and Burger King’- this is what America is all about. But I realized the importance of putting on a lens in which I seek the beauty in this place. And I have indeed found it, in much time. There are friends whose arms reach lengths for me, family whose hearts seek to understand, there is a library where I can read and learn and grow, there are benches heaped in powder from the sky. Ohio is beautiful!

I’ve been waiting for and wanting a definition of home to offer you, but it hasn’t been coming easily. Is it the place you feel most comfortable? Perhaps. It’s where your family is? Well, now let’s define family. Is it where you come from? In this case, my home is Oklahoma. I’m not satisfied.

Now, I’m usually a bit of an editor. But because of all the energy I’ve sought in making something of ‘home’, with no luck, this will be a time in which I just write whatever comes. So bear with me! And read slowly, for it’s how I write.

Where the depths of sighs resound
and are heard
Tears caught in hands unclasped
Smiles recognized
Despite wrinkles that have come to rest aside them
Feet find their places to walk
and shoes to fill
Words nestle up to conversation
comfortably, anywhere

It’s where you’ve been all along
The part of you
With no name
no marker.
Always skimming
the lining that is home.

I am the tide!

2010-01-24T17:05:00.000-08:00

Reaching for unfamiliar shores, I stretch myself thin across tan sands. For a time, I'm challenged and new- found wholly myself. The sun warms the beads inside of me, and I am alive!

But soon I'm found gripping and slipping land, I'm pulled, receding quickly. Unready to leave this newfound home, gravity invites me back to a place I once knew, and I choose to be enveloped willingly, for I know I'm leaving pieces of myself, and the land will not forget me. And I rest assured that the tide must always come in again!

Note from Laos.

2010-01-22T05:42:00.000-08:00

The act of travel. (Dec. 30)

I’ve found a great adoration for traveling. Not the visiting of a place, which I too enjoy, but rather, the way in which we journey from one place to another. To be still and moving, gazing out a window pane, whether by bus or train, this is traveling. It’s viewing beauty that moves. It paints a picture inside our hearts, leaving a permanent impression upon us.

Traveling to Laos, this is what I saw. I admired the people for living with so little, while hoping in their health and happiness. I saw children working who should have been in school. But this is their inheritance, so drastically different than my own.

The landscape, breathtaking, affirmed my belief in a great maker who thought up this world; his attention to detail proving greater than any artist to be studied. And a great red ball tucked between a few clouds shone just enough to take in a few more breaths of the hillside.

And to meet eyes for a brief moment with one of these pieces, to interact with the picture, that is a feeling matchless. To be found out, to be forever connected to a place and time, to hold that glimpse forever somewhere in the boxes of memories we keep. I am a part of this place now! Halfway around the world, I reflect an image, a memory, to them, outside my window.

To view moving art, become a part of the piece, if I’m lucky, this is the kind of travel I’ve come to like.

A bit of nostalgia in pictures.

2010-01-21T07:10:00.001-08:00

Goodbye, goodbye to everyone, it was nice to have you here!

2010-01-18T00:41:00.000-08:00

Oh, if you didn’t know, I’m a list maker. I love to make to-do lists, and with the plethora of work I’ve had these past few weeks at work, I once even managed to make a to-do list for my to-do lists. The point is, I have planned on making lists of what I’ll miss, and what I’m looking forward to back home, for a while now. I often think to myself, “man, I’ll miss this, or gosh, I can’t wait to see this person,” so alas, my lists shall come to fruition today. I’ll keep ‘em at 10 bullet points for your sake.

Tears of sadness may be shed because I will miss. . .

1. Singing kiddie songs to the little ones including ‘the clean up song’, ‘who are the people in your neighborhood?’, all of the color songs, and ‘goodbye, goodbye to everyone.’
2. Daily sunshine. There wasn’t a day without it this entire year, I’m sure of it.
3. Greeting people with wais.
4. Working barefoot.
5. Being surrounded by the beautiful, inspiring things and people that are Thailand.
6. The rubber tree plantations that I’m convinced hold magical capabilities.
7. My terrific co-workers who get me, my humor, and who have allowed me to become part of their family.
8. Receiving/delivering encouraging and loving snail mail from/to dearest friends.
9. Two hour massages that go for $9 U.S. dollars.
10. Students calling me by names such as, Kru Hilaria, Hilaleen, Helen, and my personal favorite, Halloween.
11. Okay one more... his name is Dtin Dtin!

I might just cry for joy because I can’t wait to. . .

1. Flush toilets with a handle.
2. Delight myself in Ohio snow.
3. Hug my mom, my dad, my brother, and my sweet, sweet, friends who I haven’t seen for an entire year! Yikes!
4. Live a life sans mosquitoes, little red ants that bite, and other creatures that make life a little too uncomfortable.
5. Stuff my face with some good Western food whilst drinking delicious beer.
6. Go to the museum on Sunday.
7. Have the ability to walk out the front door and go for a jog.
8. See some delightful live music. Mmm!
9. Be with my Peacemakers again.
10. Reminisce on Thailand over good coffee.

The end of an era.

2010-01-17T23:56:00.000-08:00

I have been a poor son of a blogger these past few months. I began many a blog/writing/note, yet my words never made it from paper to screen. But it isn't too late! I have seven days to catch you up on some observations, experiences, and other things I've written on as the time has gone by. I'll be sure to include the date of these little things, and I'll try to visit daily. Come travel back in time with me.

Voices (December 14, 2009)

Nestled in a corner upon a ferry island-bound, notes of dreamy voices from a distant place and time lulled me fast asleep. I saw golden temples bustling with orange robed monks, locals kneeling, hands prayerfully high for Siddartha. Incense offerings even blew through the boat cabin. I inched my eyes open a few moments later only to be delighted that in fact, I wasn’t dreaming up these spiritual sounds. Aged Thai lovers chanted prayers to one another quietly, a perfect companion to my sleep.

I just like this.

2009-11-18T00:44:00.000-08:00

My mother reminded me of this piece not all too long ago. There are many things in it that I like to think on, and many things I agree with. Thought I'd give you a break from my own writing, and offer you someone else's.

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore, be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be and whatever your labours and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

(Max Ehrmannin)

I fell in love, with the world in you.

2009-11-16T01:02:00.000-08:00

Each day I've been hearing a much quicker tick and tock of the clock in the back of my mind. I can hardly believe I've been living in this place for nearly a year, nor do I accept how fast my departure is approaching. Alas, my mind has wandered into great clouds of nostalgia. Come with me to visit a few of my memories, will you?

I can recall how unsure I was walking upon the uneven streets of Surat Thani for the first time. I couldn't order my lunch, nor could I tell you anything of the people I was working with, less their physical appearance. What have I done? I remember thinking as I lay to sleep one night. My days were void of anything familiar and anything 'normal'. Today I sit thinking, Oh my, what a wonderful thing I have done! I've let Thailand become a friend. It's been the kind of friend that tells you like it is, how the world works, and begs the right kind of questions. It's also been trustworthy and loyal. And it's introduced me to some pretty terrific people, both little and big.

The big ones have been sources of advice, comfort, and comradery. One of my greatest memories is of talking of justice and life over red wine in Cambodia. What beauty there is in being brought to a helpless place, but having the strength to talk about it with friends. I am grateful for my companions here who allow themselves to think on the tough things in life, and process them with me.

And the little ones. Oh, the little ones! I love to think on my interactions with them. This past week I spent a few minutes with my student Smart who wanted nothing but to pull out his front tooth by the end of class. I said, "Smart, it's not going to come out today buddy. No matter how hard you try." He understood me, all the while his vocabulary being limited to shapes and colors. Animals too, on a good day. The little ones have taught me about communication without words, and on the importance of a deep, and easy laugh. I love them for taking on their own little worlds, allowing me to take on mine, too.

I sit here, remembering moments of deep sorrow for 'home', joyful reunions, frustrating misunderstandings, heavy laughter, unwanted goodbyes, and the gentleness of holding the hand of a child. Yes, Thailand has become one of my dearest friends, and may prove to be the most difficult goodbye of all.

Look back on it wistfully.

2009-11-02T19:48:00.000-08:00

When you plunge into the deep blue, your eyes open a bit wider, your ears know nothing familiar, and your mind moves in a new way- with the currents, if you allow it.

I jumped in last week, a few pounds secured around my waist, a rather weighty tank upon my back, an unnatural mask grasping my face, and fins drowning the little feet I inherited from my mother. With a quick nudge from our captain’s aid, I made a grand, and equally awkward entrance into the world beneath me.

The thoughts that occupied my first hour were simply, breathe in, breathe out. The truth is, all I could hear were my breaths. I couldn’t separate myself from them, nor would I have wanted to. I thought to myself, surely this is life in its simplest form- breathe in, breathe out. We fill ourselves with what we need, then release that which we don’t. In a life where I so often weigh what’s good for me, what’s not, where I should go, what I should do, what I should keep, what I should release, how grateful I am that I don’t know the burden of thinking on each breath. A part of me that’s hidden, it works- breathe in, breathe out.

Like most new places, I adapted in time, and I quickly found a calmness that allowed me to look a bit deeper, to think clearer on this new landscape. I climbed mountains of coral, aged and weathered, new and vibrant. The Christmas Tree Worm became my favorite playmate. And the communities of animals reminded me of communities I hold dear. Even the fish, they need each other. All the while one idea drifted to the forefront of my mind again and again- the artist that sculpted this very different, oh so lovely world beneath me, formed me as well. It’s no wonder there’s great harmony in being in it.

The absence of traffic jams, of spoken words, of feet on pavement, of man-made distraction, created an environment the closest to natural that I’ve ever been. And just as the tide comes in for me, I’ll be running to greet it.

I want to go back across that sea.

2009-10-05T08:40:00.000-07:00

Farewells and goodwills, partnered with a few tears, were bid to two of my dearest friends from this era of my life. And I was reminded of how terribly unique this experience is, and of the great companionship you feel with a community who knows it just as you do.

There is something brilliant about people who move through the world together, eyes wide open, beside one another. I’m finding that an experience is worth so little, if not shared. And I think fondly of Tom and Sarah, two friends who partake in my knowledge and dissection of this peculiar, yet wildly beautiful country. I then think of their great kindness and goodness. Tea over thoughtful conversation perpetually fastened us together. But I suppose I could not hoard them forever, and their voyage must begin anew. And as communities in the past have brought me thus far, I will carry you with me, in an envelope if I must, for as long as I can remember and reflect.

I’m hopeful, too, that the more paths I forge, the more likely I am to find myself crossing the paths of those I find most dear. Onward forging!

Would you always. Maybe sometimes.

2009-09-23T23:19:00.000-07:00

When great things are on the horizon- this is when what’s called anticipation sets in. Oh, the anticipation I feel today! I’m fortunate in that all I’m awaiting are glorious things. Perhaps you are awaiting something too?

My heart beats now as if all will be as it should soon. For in a few short weeks I will be with my dear father. I can hardly believe nearly nine months have come and gone without a sight of him. Anyone who knows me understands the way in which I cherish my relationship with my pops. He is quite the apple of my eye. Anticipation, I’m so glad that you have come.

What else am I awaiting? I’ll tell you. I don’t find myself to be particularly gifted in any creative realm. My brother got those jeans. Genes? But recently I experienced a surge of it and produced some things that I am actually really excited about. I hardly like admitting it, for I find art to be a most personal thing in my life. But if I’m willing to blog, I suppose I should be willing to be transparent about most things. Thus, I am awaiting another burst of creativity. I don’t know if it will ever come, but I am left eagerly waiting, anticipation by my side.

It seems anticipation is something one cannot muster up on one’s own. It’s a powerful force that nudges every step and thought forward. For me, I walk a bit more wide-eyed. I even skip now and again, oblivious that I’m on display for Thai rugrats. Anticipation, I could get used to you.

Marshmallow water.

2009-09-21T00:46:00.000-07:00

. . . but I can see you, I can see you now.

2009-09-14T20:50:00.000-07:00

I love sitting motionless at the break of day, holding a warm mug of coffee- it’s steam fogging my view as I peer out a door wide open. I simply watch the life go by- not 20 feet before me. I find peace in the passing and going of the natives here, for their walking steps are never quick. I like to imagine what they might be dreaming up, where they might be going, what song they might be singing in their mind. Could it ever be the same that I am singing? A sip of my coffee and I take it all in. This is my morning ritual.

A young boy, whose rusty bike is much too big for his body, pedals strenuously and happily across my view. Few moments pass without a sign of life. A bird lands effortlessly on a power line, a thirsty dog searches for relief from the heat, and the wind hypnotizes the great foliage that is Thailand’s own. It’s all beautiful, I think merely for beauty’s sake.

Occasionally a motor bike whizzes by- piled high with both goods and offspring. I smile at the familiarity of it all. And it’s comforting being an audience, remembering that the world doesn’t revolve around little old me. I need this. And I find that each morning, such silence is a gift.

Old, old mystery.

2009-08-31T05:39:00.000-07:00

I have been feeling rather inspired lately, the topic of interest being just this: memory. The truth is, I have hesitated in writing because I worry that my combinations of words and ideas couldn’t possibly portray the way in which this fascinating idea has played out in my own mind. But unfortunately, my head seems to be bursting at the seams, and I must write of it, before it’s too late.

I awoke one morning last week, my senses overflowing with the memory of something I once knew. I couldn’t place it instantly, but I soon realized I was ‘smelling’ (in whatever way the memory allows us to smell) the aroma of a Christmas blend of coffee. It was one that Kristin and I brewed enjoyably for a few weeks last winter. It was a moment thick with nostalgia. With it were brought recollections of fresh Ohio snows, hardwood floors, and paper birds that patterned our walls.

Not a few days later, I drank one too many cups of coffee (unfortunately, not a delightful Christmas blend) and needed a quick snack before Thai class. I ran down the street in hopes of a quick carbohydrate fix. I grabbed a pack of Ritz crackers in a hurry, not knowing I would be plunged once more into a distant place and time. Upon my first bite I remembered my mom; my beautiful, supportive mother, who I can sit hours upon hours with, laughing with, talking to, and apparently snacking alongside. I could hardly believe the accuracy in which I was recalling the details of time spent with her: my mother’s genuine laugh lingering in the air, her sincere outlooks spilling out for me, and the warmth of a perfect hug.

Since these moments, I have been thinking on the mind, and on memory. I have been thinking on how extraordinary it is that a sight, a bite, a sound, can generate such precious thoughts, hidden deep in a place undefined. I suppose I’ve always thought the mind to be quite logical and orderly, but lately it’s become a thing of great wonder and secrecy. And I am grateful for its pleasant interruptions. For the way that it reminds me of where I’ve been, what I’ve done, who I love.

And now I’m left marveling at what my memory might bring to me of my time spent in Thailand!

ไหว้

2009-08-23T22:46:00.000-07:00

(This post title reads'The Wai'- pronounced 'why'. Why? Because I've been thinking perhaps I should let you in on that which is normal in this very different culture I am living in. The customs on this side of the planet are both bizarre and perhaps worth practicing. See for yourself!)

Greeting -verb: 1. to address with some form of salutation.

In North America we stretch out our hands and shake them up and down rather vigorously. (I'm beginning to think that Asian cultures must think this terribly odd.) In places such as Ecuador you learn to practice a simple kiss on the cheek (which I became rather fond of.) But here in Thailand, the greeting is both a salutation and a display of great respect.

To practice the wai one must place their hands in a prayer-like position, elbows in, thumbs close to the body, and accompany the gesture with a slight bow of the head- or a great bow of the head if the greeting is towards someone of high social stature (you must never forget to wai the grandparents of anyone you meet!) The various positions of the wai can express respect, authority, obedience, apologies, and happiness. It's a simple movement, yet deeply complex.

Ah, the greetings of the world.

Heart it races.

2009-08-18T21:25:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning to the sound of monkeys on my rooftop! It’s because I spent the weekend with our new teacher, Nicki, and my dear friends Tom and Sarah, in Khao Sok National Park- the largest Evergreen rainforest in the world- which lies 2 hours from our town. It felt like something from a children’s book, the way we spent our days discovering elephant tracks, searching for leopards (unfortunately, no luck), and keeping monkeys from breaking and entering. (Essentially, I should have obeyed the rules, because when a monkey caught me munching on crackers on the front porch he came right for me, and proceeded to shake the front door, and windows, in search of my treats.) I think this is what we call monkey business.

I must say, I never tire of the striking sights to see in this place, and I’m so often left speechless on my weekend getaways (undoubtedly, far from the city). The way the heavy rains quench the thirst of the trees, the outlandish calls of the wild (we were certain one of the bird calls was actually an alarm going off), and the means in which nature makes me feel so connected, and indeed so small, will forever mystify me.

. . . to find tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, sermons in stones, and good in everything.
(Shakespeare)

Little flowers that you have sewn...

2009-08-13T12:38:00.000-07:00

I have taken another hiatus in writing, and that just isn’t fair. Please forgive me!! I promise to be more diligent in these coming weeks (as I always do, I guess). But you see, I’ve taken to hermit-ing a bit, and thus will spend a bit more time writing. You’ll be feeling the brunt of it. The trouble is finding the time to blog in between real life journaling- the writing that is with my hand! It’s like being in two places at one time. Alas, I must gather my thoughts!

Yesterday I celebrated my 7 month anniversary in Thailand. I have to admit- it was the first anniversary (I find myself always counting) in which I became rather sad in realizing that I am indeed climbing down the ladder of my time here. Thailand has become my home, these fellow teachers of English and Thai natives have become my community. I cannot imagine a day without them. (Sigh.) It’s incredible the way in which strange things become familiar, and unfamiliar people become family. (Another sigh.)

So- I’d like to let you in on my life in teaching. It’s something I’ve never actually blogged about in detail- yet it’s what I’m constantly doing. So, take a seat, and lend me your eyes.

In all honesty, the Thai Education System is nowhere near perfect. Most classrooms lack creativity and resources (and air conditioning). Thai kids have no idea how to write essays, nor really think for themselves. “Copy” is within every child’s English vocabulary. It’s disheartening for those of us who have been graced with a challenging and rather innovative education. Does it sound harsh? It might- but it’s what I’ve found in the time I’ve lived here. Such is teaching in a place that is not the Western world. As my father likes to remind me, “Hil, you’re not in Kansas anymore.” It’s true. Apparently I’m in Asia.

Thankfully the Language School I work for allows us a great deal of freedom- and the after school classes are chock full of creativity and ingenuity, if I do say so myself (for those of us teachers who are on our high horses.) But the high schools we contract out to are a different story altogether. There are typically a few ‘farang’, or foreign teachers, at these schools. And at both of the high schools we teach the beginner levels. Again, it becomes a rather discouraging situation because these students go on to have Thai teachers teaching them English in their upper level classes. Essentially, most of what we teach will be unraveled within the next several years. The broken English we seek to correct will be taught to them in the future. If this isn’t a dilemma, I’m not sure what is.

In thinking this way I have found myself defeated many a time. But I’m often reminded of a quotation (come on, are you surprised?). Someone once said something like this, “A student may never remember what you taught them, but they will remember how you made them feel.” I have found my teaching philosophy in this. I strive to teach my students exceptional English skills, and challenge them in it, but more importantly, I hope to make them feel valuable and significant. Knowledge is powerful, but perhaps confidence and value in one’s self is much more so.

I am a teacher of English.

2009-07-30T00:10:00.000-07:00

They cannot let it expand, they cannot let it expand.

2009-07-15T03:00:00.000-07:00

(Okay legitimately, I have students impersonating Michael Jackson all of the time now. Who would have thought? And speaking of music- lyrics come from Midlake- such good music. Lorah, a thousand thanks for your thoughtfulness. Your mixes forever get me by.)

So- I have taken quite the one-month hiatus in writing, and for this I hope you can all forgive me! Here’s into my mind, if you dare:

The swine flu has hit Surat Thani town (don’t worry, I’m not infected), but as a result our after school classes have been cancelled for a few weeks. So, upon my early return to the house today, I plopped myself down on the sofa and began catching up on my Newsweek. (I can hardly believe M.J. is gone!) Within 5 minutes (at about 3:00), my front porch was flooded with young school children. They were playing card games, having snacks, all on MY very front porch. I wasn’t bothered, and actually found myself thankful for the company. But, I began thinking how very strange it is. And I thought to myself, something like this would probably never happen back home. Your space is your space, your front porch is your own. And well, there’s not really anything wrong with that to a certain degree- it’s just the way it has come to be, right?

But then the wheels started turning, as they do. What other attitudes have changed in me since I’ve begun living in this country? I think I’ve become much more open. I don’t believe that I was a particularly closed person before, but when you’re thrown into a situation in which pretty much everyone is different from you (in attitudes, language, etc.), you have to adapt. You simply have to- to survive physically and I think, more importantly, emotionally. I’m even referring to the Western people I am surrounded with. This is the first time in my life that I haven’t had the option of choosing my friends- they were just here upon my arrival! I’ve realized that I have always tended to surround myself with people that are like me. (Good looking, funny, you know. Hah! Joke.) But it’s true. And again, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. I think it’s important to be surrounded by people whose values are similar to yours. I can’t imagine a life without friends who love God, justice, friends who have shared in my experiences, and things of the like. But now, being here, lacking those familiar friendships, I’ve been stretched. And I’ve found there is actually much to be learned from everyone I know.

I’ve learned to be more wide-eyed and in awe of the world through the attitudes of my little kindergartners. In my roommate Erika, I’ve learned to embrace my emotional personality more than I ever have before. (oh, how we share this!) Through the attitudes of all the Thais, I’ve learned to merely slow down. I wonder, what might my life look like if I looked a little bit deeper into the lives of those around me- even people I don’t particularly get along with- to find their thoughts, ideas, attitudes, that might make my life that much more rich. I don’t claim it’s an easy process, but I’d like to believe that changes in our lives and attitudes are often a marker of progress. But you’ve got to allow yourself to be challenged first, in order to be changed. And what’s so bad about challenging and relating with each other? There’s a bit of good in all of us, I believe.

I like what Lord Chesterfield has to say about all of this, “You must look into other people as well as at them.” The next person you meet- ask about their life, who they are, what they know. Look into their lives, really look, and tell me what you see.

Dr.Seuss is my hero!

2009-06-16T01:40:00.000-07:00

I haven't much to say. Just wanted to check in with you today. Because while my troubles have seemed plenty, I'm finally feeling myself again. Whew! I think we can all admit that we like me more when I'm myself rather than covered in homesick tears. And so, I came across this quote which encompasses the way I feel about trials and tribulations. Well- at least the way I feel now- and hopefully will the next time troubles come my way.

"I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I've bought a big bat. I'm all read you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!"
(Dr.Seuss)

It's just like the present, to be showing up like this.

2009-06-13T01:30:00.000-07:00

A child needs a grandparent, to grow a little more securely into an unfamiliar world.
(Charles and Ann Morse)

Sometimes I completely forget that I’m half-way around the world. But then- I remember when I hop online to buy a domestic plane ticket up to Bangkok for a weekend, that I’m not in Ohio anymore. I remember when I stop and actually listen to everyone around me- ‘why, they’re not speaking English!!’ I remember when I bum out that I can’t celebrate Rachel Hook’s birthday with her at The Receiver show. (Happiest Birthday soon, dear friend!) And unfortunately, I remembered this week when I lost my grandfather. I wanted (and if I’m honest, still want) nothing more than to be home.

My grandfather, Floyd Buchanan, was not a man I knew well. In fact, it’s just been over the past few years that I began seeing him again annually. My brother and I tagged him as a ‘fictional character’ in regards to his funny antics. He was a slow moving, jokester, to say the least: a grandpa. I remember the things he’d love to say to me (include thick accent, please), “Girl, there ain’t nothin’ to you.” Or, “How much do you weigh?” And of course, “You look just like your mama.” He had a way of complimenting me, and putting a smile on my face.

I have warm memories of spending time with my brother, cousins, and Aunt, in Southern Missoura where my grandfather lived. We rode four wheelers that were far too large for our little bodies. I learned to drive a go-kart. We ate dozens of What-cha-ma-kulits. And because I was the youngest- I found the movies we watched to be terrifying, while no one else really did (Children of the Corn, Kujo). And it was in Missouri that I’d adopt a southern accent naturally, for a few weeks. My grandfather undoubtedly accompanies each and every one of those distant memories.

More than anything, my grandfather was the father of my father- he is my flesh and blood- my family. And the only people in our lives that we cannot choose, are our families. God chooses them for us. It sets them apart, by far. He has woven our ancestors, the parents of our parents, into the tapestry of our lives, and we are who we are, because of them. I feel a certain awe when I think of my grandparents in this light. And to put it simply, I am sad that he is gone.

My dad says that my grandfather is in heaven, and he’s as young as he’s ever been. I will celebrate and be confident in this.

Hello, June!

2009-06-07T22:45:00.000-07:00

It comforts me to know that the weather is warming up in Ohio, and that similarly, it’s warm here. Perpetually. The reason I say that is because any time I see snow, or mention snow, or autumn for that matter, I become very nostalgic and miss home. So, cheers to the warmth!

I’ll have you know, I’m so excited about this month! And I have to admit, I feel rather accomplished that I’ve made it this far. When I count the months on my fingers, I’m always impressed with myself. January.. February.. March.. you get the point.

So, it seems that the past several weeks have been bursting with one notion in particular. A friend of my dad’s, who was in great shape, passed away suddenly of a heart attack. My dear friend Sarah, here in Suratthani, lost her grandfather. A young boy in our town died in a car accident. Our newest teacher of one month, headed back to the U.S. yesterday because her grandfather was given 2 weeks to live. And I’ve just learned that a fellow I know here in Thailand has cancer. I’ve been thinking of nothing but the idea that life is fragile.

The course in which I processed this idea has been complex, and an ongoing one. At first I was fearful, and ridiculously homesick. The thought of being away from dear friends and family for just one second was killing me. I kept wondering if it was worth the experience here to be away from home, and I was never satisfied with what I came up with in my mind. I ran myself in circles, into a pretty sad state. But then I listened to ‘Big Rich’- Rich Nathan- in his Challenge of Death message and was reminded of the one who has overcome death! I find great comfort in knowing that God is above all things, even death. In the gospel of John, Jesus says, “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” In Jesus we have comfort and security- something I believe cannot be found anywhere else.

But still.. I continue to think on this idea: life, here on this earth, is fragile. It convinces me once more that it’s important to live in this moment. Right now. What should I do with it? Should I worry? Of course, not. Should I be angered? No. Death puts life into perspective, doesn’t it?

I’ve always been a quotation fanatic, so I’d like to use a few individual’s thoughts to express some of the deductions I’ve also come to.

“Don’t strew me with roses after I’m dead.
When Death claims the light of my brow.
No flowers of life will cheer me: instead
Give me my roses now!”
(Thomas F. Healey)

Oh, the importance of showing and verbalizing love to the ones dearest to you, now!

Let children walk with Nature, let them see the beautiful blendings and communions of death and life, their joyous inseperable unity, as taught in the woods and meadows, plains and mountains and streams of our blessed star, and they will learn that death is stingless indeed, and as beautiful as life.
(John Muir)

I always seem to make somethin’ out of nothin’.

2009-05-29T18:32:00.000-07:00

(I made a new friend right before I came to Thailand- and thanks to his reconciliation with the ‘ole Post Office, I am able to benefit from his terrific musical taste. Hi, Case! Thanks for the Vetiver- from whom I am stealing a lyric for today’s blog post.)

So I’ve learned quite a few things about myself while living in Thailand- one of them simply being that I’ve changed over the years- not only in hair color, age, and location, but also in some other ways. In residing with a few wonderful girls in college, who were much cleaner than I, I’ve adopted some of their ways of living. Girls (and parents), you’re not going to believe this, but I make my bed every morning, and I wash dishes immediately after using them. When this change occurred, I cannot be certain, but it has. In addition to cleanliness, I’ve become ridiculously organized- ask my co-workers. I make to-do lists like you wouldn’t believe. I practically make to-do lists about my to-do lists. So I’ve decided that whenever I haven’t an inspirational thought to offer (like now), I’ll just make a list. Are you down with this?

Today my list is a bit cliché- but nevertheless, it is as follows:

Top 10 Things I Love About Thailand
(in no particular order)

1. Fame: If you’re a foreigner living in Surat Thani, it’s the equivalent of having made several major motion pictures in the States. Everyone wants to say hello to you, tell you that you are beautiful, and sometimes they even want to take pictures with you. And no, it never gets old.

2. Smiles: The smiles you offer to friends and strangers alike are always reciprocated. It beats the whole ‘look away and act awkward’ response that is more common in the west.

3. The Wai: This is a greeting, and moreover a sign of respect- when you bring your hands in a bit of a prayer position near your chin, elbows in, and drop your head a bit. I never tire of the wai. It’s a beautiful tradition.

4. Good Eats: My staple Thai diet includes spicy papaya salad, cashew chicken, fried rice, shrimp tempura, and dragon fruit. Aroi, mai? (translation: delicious, no?)

5. Thai Kids: By this point I think I’ve made it abundantly clear that Thai children are fantastic, and I absolutely adore my job. Some of the coolest people I think I’ve ever known are Cartoon (age 4), Kong (age 4), and Boat (age 13). Boo yaw.

6. Breeze: A cool Thai breeze is a thing of great comfort and relief. There is absolutely nothing like waking up to a cool morning in this town.

7. My Ride: It’s orange, it’s quick, and it has a bell- that’s my bicycle! Oh, and I’m also saving the environment one day at a time. My Chevy is but a distant dream.

8. Time: Everything is slower in Thailand, and you end up with significant down time- whether you like it or not. Personally, I’ve finally been able to read some books, write some things, and learn some music. (I guess now I have no excuse for not updating my blog more often. Oops!)

9. Snail Mail: I love writing and I love receiving. It’s just that simple.

10. Perspective: Traveling half-way around the globe gives you some. You see the way other people live, how they survive, what they value, what they find joy in. It’s not always better or worse, it’s simply different. But alas, it changes you.

We’ll catch up in June, my friends. ‘Til then!

You can take the road that takes you to the stars.

2009-05-13T20:05:00.000-07:00

Thank you, Jason, coolest boss of all time, who will probably never see this blog post- for your wonderful mix. Title comes from Nick Drake’s song, Road.

Okay- let us all take a moment to congratulate me- I’ve made it 4 months, people! Yesterday was my anniversary! Yes, I’ve been counting. At first a year seemed like such a very long time. But perhaps it’s not so long at all?

I’m finding that because I have this limited amount of time in Thailand, I check up on myself more often. Reflect more. For instance, tonight as I was journaling I tried to note the ways in which I’ve changed, the things I’ve learned in these past months. I’m certainly learning to be less anxious. I think I’m also learning to be less important. I’ve always been a bit of a social butterfly- and living in a small community has been hard for me. But I think I’ve finally embraced it. I may not have hundreds of friends here, and may not feel as ‘important’ as I do back home, but I’m finding that loving the few I’m surrounded with is incredibly valuable- in both my life and theirs. It reminds me of a quote my brother Clarke sent to me not too long ago, “It’s not necessary to be important, but it’s important to be necessary.” So in short, reflection. It’s good, it’s refreshing. Do it.

Additionally, as I had mentioned in my last post, I’m taking this time to really develop my goals and dreams. What more would I like to learn in Thailand? What more would I like to do? And the biggest question of all- what dream do I have for my life after Thailand? Dreams don’t come overnight I’ve found. They develop over time, don’t they? In my nutshell, I’d like to learn more Thai, I’d like to become a better teacher, and as I always hope to do, I’d like to learn to love God and love people better. As far as dreams go, if I’m honest, I haven’t got much of a clue. I’m passionate about children, justice, and peace. It’s taken a few years for these passions to develop, so I figure in the next moments, months, and years to come my dreams will become more concrete. I’m a big believer in dreams. They are something to hope in, something to move toward. Whether it’s the dream of writing a song, or bringing peace to an entire people, it’s believing in the possibility that drives us, makes us better, and brings us together.

So perhaps today you might reflect some. Check in. And dream!!

(Because you can never have enough pictures of the little ones!)

Dream catch me when I fall.

2009-05-10T05:40:00.000-07:00

Hello, hello! I’ll have you know, this post finds me having just returned from a relaxing trip to Chiang Mai, Northern Thailand. I am unashamed to admit that I spent a lot of my time there simply hanging out, eating good food, drinking good wine, and just enjoying a true ‘holiday’. I am beginning to understand why people in the ‘adult’ world long for their vacations!

What did I find in Chiang Mai? Well! I found myself in a mall the first day- I know it sounds boring, but it turned out to be a true case of culture shock. I had forgotten about all of the products and comforts of the western world that are unavailable in Surat Thani- but it seems many of them can be found in Chiang Mai! I was in awe of lip gloss that I would probably never buy back home, an Apple store, and a movie theatre that plays films in English! I saw X-Men Origins: Wolverine, and was on the edge of my seat the entire time. Oh, am I far too easily pleased?

Don’t worry- I didn’t spend all of my days there- I found myself exploring Chiang Mia by bicycle, stopping at practically all of the wats (Buddhist temples) along the way. Chiang Mai is a clean, and in my opinion, hoppin’ city. I was even able to check out their University, with an art building not all that different from the Wex. For me, there’s nothing like an afternoon museum stroll. And oh, how I love finding hints of home in a country half-way around the world.

Let’s talk about elephants. The highlight of my trip was spending a day at Elephant Nature Park- where practically all of the elephants have been rescued from the hands of street begging and abuse. I spent the day in awe of these creatures, fed them, and even hopped in the river for a bath with them that afternoon. I think I cleaned approximately 2 feet by 2 feet of one of the elephant’s bodies- but at least I tried. Elephants are incredible animals, and my heart broke at the thought of the way so many of them are manipulated in Thailand. It’s interesting- because elephants are greatly revered here, but are equally abused and mistreated. How do we humans find ourselves in such predicaments? And it’s amazing to think that we have the capacity to manipulate such a large and intelligent creature. We as individuals are capable of so much, aren’t we? How and where will we direct all of our strength and energy? I’m finding that I want my time in Thailand to be time in which I decide just this- where would I like my dreams to take me, and how would I like to use my capacity as a human being to create change. I’m excited about this- and I’ll be sure to keep you in the loop!

Happy reading friends, and above all else, Happy Mother’s Day! I am grateful today because I have an incredible, strong mother whom I admire dearly. I will always stand behind the belief that my mom truly is the best in the world. I love you, mom! Thank you for always generously giving me strength, support, and an example of how to live passionately and deeply. Your character and beauty is beyond words, and you are SO missed. Muah!

I'm so paid.

2009-04-28T19:39:00.000-07:00

This title comes from a super cool mix from my mom. Who would've thought we'd end up liking each other's music some day? Love you mom! (Oh- and in case you're looking for significance, it's just referring to the idea that I actually have a job. And I'm so paid- in Thai baht.)

So, today was a fantastic day. Nothing out of the ordinary happened, but it was one of those days where I felt that my eyes were wide open to all that was around me.

I began my day by drinking some delicious American coffee (which probably origniated in a country that's actually closer to me now) fresh from the French press- and I said out loud, “Man, this coffee is good.” Then at the school I finished decorating my bulletin boards in my class room. It’s absolutely nerdy that I got excited about this, but I felt so accomplished. To top off my day, I was able to Skype with a dear friend- Rachel Welty. We talked of traveling, of poetry, of books and friends (well- I talked, Rachel typed- our connection was a bit off). I laughed out loud and thought once more, this is good.

I only wish that I could learn to appreciate such details in every day that is to come. How can I better live with my eyes wide open? I think slowing down is part of it. I think in this Thai culture I am learning to slow down more- a characteristic that I think my American upbringing and life opposes. I don’t know that there’s a formula to achieving this, but what a delight it is- to slow down long enough to actually take in all that is around you.

So, cheers to slowing down and taking a look around. Let me in on what YOU find, will you?

(Note: Matt and Karla, my Skype session with Rachel has not superseded yours. I found our time hilarious and refreshing. Tell me again, where do you live? Santa Cruz? Santa Monica? Santa Clause? I love you two!)

Okay, okay. So here are my bulletin boards. Off the chain, right?

Couldn’t possibly tell you how I mean (but I can dance, dance, dance.)

2009-04-21T03:12:00.000-07:00

I can always count on you for ridiculously good music Miss Allie Klein! Much thanks for your thoughtfulness.

Alas, here I am!! I’m sorry it’s been so long. I hadn’t noticed that it’s been almost an entire month since I’ve written. Oops! And thank you so, so much, to those of you who express interest in my blog. You have no idea how much it warms my heart and makes me smile. I am ever so grateful for people who take the time (and even have the ability) to express the way that they feel. I think we could all do this a little bit more.

Okay.. in all honesty, I’m still processing my trip to Cambodia. I haven’t a clue where to begin, and certainly wouldn’t know where to end. But as I said before, I think we could all do a little more expressing of how we feel and what we learn, so here goes.

I guess I’ll start by saying that Cambodia is a country of great sorrow, and great beauty- the sorrow being much easier to recognize. The first city we visited, Phnom Penh, is home to more than 20,000 street children alone. It pains me to think that we can reduce human beings to numbers. I know it’s necessary, but I wish I could show you 1 by 1 all of the faces that are represented by that statistic. I met many of them, was able to speak and play games with a dozen of them, and I have found that they are just like you and me. They eat, breathe, laugh, cry, hurt. Of course, their lives look different than ours, don’t they? It’d be silly to act as if they do not. Many of them are without a bed, without a home, without a father or a mother. Oh, man, my heart. These children don’t desire great things, they desire to be cared for, looked after, known. It’s hard to believe that we fall short of offering even that, so often.

Such poverty paralyzes people and leaves them disgusted, often unable to act because they don’t know how. I don’t have all of the answers, but I’ll let you in on what I’ve found. Being aware and conscious of the presence of poverty and injustice is a start. I know how easy it is to forget (‘out of sight, out of mind’) when I’m back home, and actually, even in Thailand, because the problems are so hidden. Then, you must find ways to act. Your action will certainly differ from mine, and from another’s, but action must come to fruition. I remember my dad talking to me about whether I wanted to be a Bono or a Mother Teresa- both sought ways to relieve poverty, but each took such different paths. Bono continues to find ways to reach the masses through music and great creativity, while Mother Theresa got down in the dirt and loved individuals deeply with great detail and care. I can’t say that I’ve carved out my path for certain, but I try to keep myself educated, and I try to keep my eyes wide open for opportunities. Sponsoring a child in another country, purchasing Fair Trade coffee, simplifying your life, praying for the world, are all things you might consider in taking steps towards justice.

One thing I know for sure is that you musn’t let poverty paralyze you. I still believe whole-heartedly in what I expressed in my last blog- love is it. If you can’t love the person next to you, how could you possibly love the world and those who are being manipulated and oppressed in it? Now, most of you know me, and know that I believe in Jesus. It’d be impossible to write these thoughts without expressing that I find that he is my source of life. In him I find the ability to be loving, compassionate, self-sacrificing. Of course, I’m not always this way. I’m only human. But I find that in him there is absolutely nothing but love and goodness and justice. Whether or not you believe this to be true- I hold tightly to the promise that in him all things will be made new. In Jesus the world will be restored, and each one of those street children will know justice and love. In the depths of despair, God is deeper still.

I hope that I’ve articulated something worthwhile today. I’ll continue to process, and continue to write, as long as you continue to read. I’ll leave you with this.

‘Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired.’ (Mother Teresa)

May we find great energy to love each other creatively, deeply, and honestly.

Hush now, don't explain, you're the cause of all my trouble and pain.

2009-03-30T05:56:00.001-07:00

Thank you, Rachel Hook, for your musical taste. This title comes from 'Don't Explain' by Cat Power.

I’ve never been much of a history buff, and unfortunately, I lack the ability to summarize any historical event well. But- I will tell you what I know.

I know that in the 1970’s Cambodia came under the control of the Khmer Rouge- a corrupt communist regime. Khmer Rouge leaders were obsessed with the idea that their rule and revolution in Cambodia be "pure." Their revolution was characterized by such principles as: no tolerance for individuality, they believed intelligence was a threat, and therefore executed college students, teachers, and doctors in particular. The Khmer Rouge’s ideology regarding Cambodian people was, “to preserve you is no gain, to destroy you is no loss.” They only sought to create a ‘perfect’ agrarian, self-sufficient society. Somewhere along the way their value of the human life was completely lost. Their ugly dreams took precedence over humanity.

Under Khmer Rouge rule, the country saw famine, injustice, and genocide. In three-and-a-half years, out of a population of eight million people, more than two million people had died. It was one of the most lethal regimes of the 20th century.

I’ve been having a really hard time just studying, and learning of these events in Cambodia. It’s hard to believe that this all happened, not so long ago. It’s impossible to believe that such a regime could ever exist. How could it? Why didn’t anyone stop it? I suppose we ask these questions of all the genocides that line our world’s history. It’s devastating. It’s hard to swallow. It’s simply unjustifiable. But then we ask, what could we have done? What can we do?

Maybe I’m a bit of a hippie, but can we not just love? And I don’t mean simply our families, our friends. Can we not try to love those that we think are impossible to love, those that are so different from us? Our enemies even? How did we even come to make enemies in the first place? It seems I’m asking many a question, and giving few answers. But I think they are questions that are important to find answers to, not simply think on.

I think Martin Luther King Jr. had it right when he said, “Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, ‘What are you doing for others?’” Because if we haven’t each other, what do we have?

Alas, the wheels in my head are turning, and I think this post has become rather complicated. I hope you have found some worth in it. I’ll be in Cambodia soon- and I will write on what I find there.

(If you want to read more on Cambodia's history, check out http://www.mekong.net/cambodia/)

'Cause when it's over all that matters is the love you gave away.

2009-03-28T04:57:00.001-07:00

I've decided to quote songs for titles whenever I am able, to express my gratitude for the beautiful soundtracks I've received from dear friends. Those words were sung by Rosie Thomas, given to me via mixed CD by my beautiful friend Lorah Campbell. Thank you, pal!

I haven't much to say, seeing as I'm working on a Cambodian History (don't worry- it's not too lengthy) post that I hope to put up soon! So I thought you might just like to meet some more of my students.

(This is Name. Age 7. Think he might have trouble introducing himself if he travels abroad?)

(This is Kampan. Age 5. He likes yellow.)

(This is Lucien. Age 4. Okay, so, she's not really my student, but she visits me everyday.)

(Students with their really awesome teacher!)

Fact: One should receive 13 hugs a day for good health.

2009-03-18T09:07:00.000-07:00

My apologies, my friends! I’ve received a few complaints about my lack of blogging in recent weeks. So. Please forgive me, Ali, Peter! I hope you haven’t forgotten me and my adventure!

Have you ever loved so deeply that it physically hurts you? My mom and I had a conversation about this not too long ago. When you love someone with your whole heart it’s as if it’s going to burst! Isn’t it? And in the absence of such loved ones you recognize how full your heart is, and it becomes heavy. Doesn’t it? Let me explain.

Thai culture is puzzling. The people are the kindest I’ve ever met in the world. They are full of life and of love. But it is a culture void of much affection. Physical touch is not prominent- particularly between men and women. It’s radical to see young teenagers holding hands with one another. As a result, Thai people are awful huggers. I don’t hold this against them (pun intended- cha-ching!), but it’s killing me in the whole ‘you are supposed to have 13 hugs a day for good health’ rule that I adhere to. To bring these two thoughts together- my heart is painfully heavy for a big hug and kiss from my mom and dad. I’m very fortunate in that both my parents are outstanding huggers. Love you mom! Love you pops! My friends, too, excel in the hugging department. I will never take your embraces for granted, ever again, my sweet friends.

(This is Sare- she's a good hugger here. Whew.)

It would be careless of me not to note, that while most Thai folk lack in the physical affection department, itty bitty children are excluded. My little (in stature, not quantity) Saturday class of 4 and 5 year olds probably fulfills my quota of hugs in the short 2 hours I spend with them. Oh, the beauty of children! They are such incredible people, and such natural huggers. Without them I would simply die. And while I cannot live without my little ones, some of the older children I teach are remarkable as well. I recently asked 11 year-old Noodee, “If you had one million baht, what would you do with it?” After a delicate pause she replied, “I would buy clothing for children who have no parents.” I do believe we’ve got a little social activist on our hands. Oh, the ways in which these children inspire me! And their imaginations are unlike anything I’ve known in such a long time. They are full of creativity. We have much to learn from children and their perspectives.

“We find a delight in the beauty and happiness of children, that makes the heart too big for the body.”
(Emerson)

That our hearts could be bigger than our bodies! What burdens do we carry that children do not? Worry? Stress? Perhaps we should spend more time seeking peace, and less time building our schedules. Maybe we should take more time to do the things that we love, and spend time with those that we love. Perhaps we should reflect on life more! I know that this was a struggle of mine before I came to Thailand. Now that I am in a country of greater simplicity and ease I have been learning that joy is found in the smallest and quietest of occurrences. It is in a child’s hug, it is in a poem that makes you cry every time (from a book that your mother sent you across the ocean), it is in receiving an encouraging note from a friend, it is in receiving a compliment, it is learning to be thankful for an inhale and an exhale. It is in enduring the heaviness of heart because you are thankful to have the ability to love deeply.

I hope that today you look for, and find significance in moments that would otherwise just pass you by- that you might experience a delight that makes your heart far too big for your body.

One day at a time.

2009-03-01T22:15:00.000-08:00

Once I posted a video of myself, I quickly decided that perhaps that wasn't such a great idea. I might lose a few friends as a result. Thus, I am swiftly writing another post to distract you.

I've been seeing elephants walk down Chonkasem (one of the main roads in Surat Thani that I work and live on) lately. I freak out every time. It's so amazing! I saw a baby elephant yesterday. What could be better? And I'm currently planning my holiday in April with my co-worker Erika. We're heading to Chiang Mai. Our main goal is to ride an elephant. And for me, that is my only goal. It must happen. Or else.

So what is new? I think I've finally found my groove. I feel comfortable teaching, riding motorbikes, and ordering food. Life is good. I also went to a beach a few weeks ago, got to hang out in a rice field, soak up the sun. I'll let the pictures speak for themselves.

I'll tell you what- last night I had an interesting conversation with my good mates, Tom and Sarah (why, yes, I did just say mate- as in, friend). We watched Slumdog Millionaire. Have you seen it? After the film we talked about poverty. And we talked about how interesting Thailand is in regards to it. It is a poor country.. but not in an in-your-face kind of way. I would've expected so much more. But Thailand seems to have all it needs right here- the food is abundant, it's not too hot, and most everyone has a roof over their heads. We then discussed the fact that most everyone seems to own small businesses- perhaps it's a coffee shop (like the one I am sitting in now), a corner store, a small restaurant. Often times these businesses don't last and they soon turn it into something else- a hair salon, another restaurant, etc. They do whatever brings in a little business, and they make enough to survive and live well, by Thai standards. We've noticed that here, there isn't much discussion about dreams, future goals, desires. My initial reaction was sadness in this. How sad that these people don't have dreams, and don't think of what they could do, or be! But the more we discussed, the more I realized that perhaps I have no reason to feel sorry. It is simply a different way of thinking, of life. The Thai people may not be dreaming about the future because they have mastered the art of living for the day. The very thing I've been trying to do! I think I am in the perfect place for learning this. Dreams are beautiful and good, but they should not paralyze us in living now. This day has so much to offer- so much beauty to be seen, so many people to learn from, and grow with, so many chances to take. Today is a dream, and I should be thankful for it.

Dream, dream, dream! Dream of where you will go, what you will see, who you will meet- TODAY!

For your enjoyment, my embarrassment!

2009-02-27T10:16:00.000-08:00

Help!

2009-02-19T22:06:00.000-08:00

(Your wish is my command, Karla- a new post!)

I’ve been feeling a little bit of a Beatles tune deep down in my soul. It goes like this, “Help me if you can I’m feelin’down- and I do appreciate you ‘bein ‘round. Help me get my feet back on the ground. Won’t you please, please help me?”

Truth: I’ve been feeling rather lonely, thus the whole “help me” bit. I hate admitting this, because I’m in Thailand. It’s incredible. I shouldn’t be feeling anything but awe and wonder and enjoyment, right? Well, I hate to break it to you, but it’s still a huge adjustment, and I’m having to deal with newness all about me! It can be rather exhausting. This means one thing in particular- new community. And let’s be honest, why would I ever want to have a new community when back home I have the coolest friends known to man? Nevertheless, I am beginning to develop a new community here.

Okay- what I’m trying to get at is this- everybody needs a friend. Someone to laugh with, watch The Office with, hang with, talk deep with, you know. And it seems the older I get the harder it is to make friends. When we were young it was so easy to be cool, wasn’t it?- maybe you were the “new kid” as I often was, maybe you brought your dog to show and tell which made you extremely awesome, or perhaps your high top Chuck Taylors had glow-in-the-dark Halloween bats and ghosts puffy painted on them (Oh yeah, my brother Clarke had these. He became instantly rad at Maple Elementary, as I recall.) Either way, making friends was a bit of a sinch. But now I’m 23, in Thailand, and am without puffy paint to snazz up my kicks. So how am I supposed to make friends? Don’t worry, there’s good news- I have made a great friend, Sarah, and despite my lack of pets and fashion, and I do believe that her company will make life in Thailand all the greater. Therefore, I’m thrilled!! Things are looking up. And I am finding that it’s not always where you are, but who you’re with, that brings real life But it seems that I wouldn’t have necessarily realized this to the point that I have unless I had been here, in Thailand, away from my typical pals. So perhaps it IS about where you are. Analyze this, if you will.

Basically, this blog is a cheers to friendship. It is something none of us can last long without. It is a beautiful thing to connect and relate to one another. Cheers to new friendship, and to dear old friends who are never far from my thoughts. Here’s hoping that we love our friends as we should!

Okay, now please view this if you want to learn what real friendship is all about:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XVoCJJFuS60

(Note: This video was shown to me by one of my best friends, Meg. What a laugh. Love you so much!)

(Additional Note: Tom, Sarah's husband, is also very, very cool. He is a great mate (as in, friend) and he may or may not have implied that he'd be sad if I didn't mention him. Hah!)

Ray LaMontagne speaks to me. (sings to me).

2009-02-08T17:44:00.000-08:00

Don’t let your soul get lonely, child it’s only time, it will go by..
(Ray LaMontagne)

Ah yes. Time. I’ve been a bit of a wreck as far as thinking about the fact that I will be living in another country that is completely unfamiliar (right now), for an entire year. 365 days. AHH! I often doubt that I can do it. I love my family and friends too much, I say. And all of my dreams are about being in the States- so this doesn’t help much! But each day does get easier. And I am holding to Ray’s words, “time it will go by.” It’s difficult, because I certainly don’t want to wish my days away and rush my experience, but I equally hope in the future when I will see all that is familiar, and all those that I love, again! Oh, to be able to live in the moment! It’s something I think we all aspire to do- but I often fall short of. I will continue to try and master this skill, and let you know how it goes.

While 365 days does seem like a long time, I’ve just calculated that I have already been here for 28 days! And Thailand is beginning to feel familiar. I can ride my bicycle to the post office, to restaurants, and most importantly, to the coffee shop. YES, little Surat Thani, Thailand, has a coffee shop. And a seriously good one at that. It’s called My Cup. And it is my cup of tea! (especially on weekends). The atmosphere is comfortable, the java delightful. It’s as if I’m in a little coffee shop down the street in Clintonville. It’s a taste of home, and I’m addicted (to coffee and the shop).

Oh, by the way, I am a teacher. I really am, now! It’s amazing. Amidst all of the Malay madness, and adjusting to the culture, I had forgotten that I have my first ‘real job’. It’s totally a real job, guys. Who knew it would happen to me? I work a good, long work week, teaching and lesson planning, and loving, loving the kids. Every week I adore them more. It will be hard to leave them. But because of this fact, I will warn you that my blogs may be more few and far between. But I will try hard to be faithful and blog every week. Forgive me if I fall off the face of the earth. But the gravity is the same over here in Asia, so I shouldn’t! hah. Lame humor. But seriously.

This is me being honest and telling you that I miss you and the States, dearly, today. So go out there and miss me, too. hah!

(This is Cartoon- he's totally incredible! He just learned how to write his name. Go, Cartoon!!)

Commiserating With Bilbo.

2009-01-31T03:03:00.000-08:00

"I should think so- in these parts! We are plain quiet folk and have no use for adventures. Nasty disturbing uncomfortable things! Make you late for dinner! I can't think what anybody sees in them," said our Mr. Baggins.

Last Saturday I ventured off- via night train- to Malaysia with my co-worker Shaun, to quickly grab my visa, and come right back to Thailand. This was the plan. The reality became, that because of the Chinese New Year the Thai Embassy was closed! Shaun had to return to Thailand to teach, leaving me ALL ALONE in Malaysia. It seemed a nasty, disturbing, and uncomfortable thing. I was not excited in the slightest, and I was certain I would book the next flight back to the United States. My dad encouraged me otherwise. He reminded me of my strength and my faith, and even urged me, "HAVE FUN!!!!". So I told him I would.

And I did! That afternoon I met 6 wonderful Wisconsin girls who I was able to spend the day with after Shaun headed back. We went to the beach, spent time at the night market, and had wonderful conversation about faith, life, our common experience with Ecuador. I often wonder if they weren't just angels tending me while I would have otherwise had a serious breakdown. I am so grateful for them! They left the next morning, and I was hopeful I would make more friends. 3 young gentlemen from my hostel invited me to lunch, and would you believe I had fun? They forced me to eat a ridiculous amount of Malay food (the best I've ever had in my entire life- seriously. Malay food. That's where it's at.) And again, good times were had by all.

I spent most of the last day exploring Georgetown. I discovered a few little English bookstores and picked up The Hobbit. In it, Bilbo sets off on an adventure he isn't quite sure of, and as the story unravels he begins to learn a lot about life, the world, and himself. Do you see where I'm going with this? I, too, am learning a lot about the world, and myself. I'm learning that I am not nearly as strong and independent as I once thought. I am quite weak, actually. But in this, I am learning how strong and faithful God is- in a real way. He provided for me when I was hopeless, and in the midst of it I was able to even see so much of his beauty. (Parts of Malaysia really are quite incredible- and the people are SO diverse.)

Speaking of providing- when I see the poverty (it was so much worse in Malaysia than it is in Thailand), I have to remember God's compassion and his promise of justice.

My whole being will exclaim,
"Who is like you, O Lord?
You rescue the poor from those too strong for them,
the poor and needy from those who rob them."
(Psalm 35:10)

It is a beautiful thing- in God I find the ability to love the oppressed and poor better, and in him I trust that ALL of his people will be restored. Perhaps I will blog more about this at a later date- it is close to my heart! Which makes me think of all you Peacemakers back home- miss you!!

In short, my trip in Malaysia was uncomfortable and difficult, but it was worth every minute- because in it I think I built a little bit of character. In traveling alone you really find who you are (far from home, friends, and anything familiar), how much strength you have (or don't have), and you discover more of what adventure really is.

Turning pages..

2009-01-24T00:32:00.000-08:00

St. Augustine wrote, "The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only one page." So here I am, in Southern Thailand, turning pages.

I'm sorry, my followers, that I haven't written more. Our Internet access is few and far between at home, and I'm not always feeling creative enough in the office to blog! At least.. I hope you find my blogs somewhat creative and worth reading. I recall that when I returned home from Ecuador, the first thing my father said to me was, "Blog-o? More like lame-o!!" So here is my attempt, Pops, at being a more faithful blogger!!

First of all, can I state, that for the record, nearly 100% of all Thai people smile back at you when you flash them a smile. This could perhaps be the most thrilling experience of all time- seeing as I'm a rather smiley person myself. It's refreshing to be living in a culture where stress is minimal, anger is not practiced, and joy is abounding. The Thai culture is much warmer than I could have ever imagined (in both personality and temperature, of course!) Oh yes- don't you worry, my dry humor will work it's way into these posts I'm sure!

I'd be lying if I didn't admit I have experienced some homesickness. I'm halfway around the world, can you blame me? But the truth of the matter is, where I work, Mathus (http://www.mathusthai.com/), is truly a community. I work, live, and hang out with a handful of wonderful folks. I'm practically never alone. This has made for an easy transition.

What is my favorite part of Thailand, you ask? Simple. The KIDS! Oh my gosh, am I going to enjoy my job! I technically work at a high school for 2 classes, and have 3 classes at Mathus. The high school kids are a handful (still cute, but somewhat terribly behaved), but the Mathus after-school kids are a blast. They are motivated, kind, and say the cutest things. And they make you feel loved. Who doesn't love being loved?

I'm also "turning another page" if you will, tonight, as I board a night train to Malaysia! I'm going to get my working Visa, but I'm spending a day in Penang- beach, beach, beach! It's also the Chinese New Year, so celebrations will be near. I'll blog about it- I promise.

What am I learning? A lesson I've probably learned many a time before.. but yet here I am, learning it again. It is that we are all the same. We all have big hearts, needs, families, hurts, passions, weaknesses, hopes, dreams, challenges. And we should love each other in it. Actually- I'm reminded of a quotation I saw on the tram at Denver Airport when I was visiting my mom for Christmas. It said..

"If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility."
(Henry Wadsworth Longfellow)

I wish my name was Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. Anyway, I'm learning to love in a new culture. To love unconditionally. To love people that are so different than I am. I'm learning what it is to be misunderstood (I can barely count to 10 in Thai, let alone have any sort of conversation yet.) Funny isn't it? While becoming a teacher, I'm continually learning.

Okay, one more quote! Everyday, when I'm faced with something I'm uncomfortable with, or dislike, I just remind myself that I am doing what I love. And I should love what I do. ("Do what you love. Love what you do.")

May we love whatever we are doing today. Thanks for reading! 'Til we meet again.

(Ps- I'm going to take this opportunity to strongly encourage you to write me. hah!)

Mathus Language School

Attention: Hilary Buchanan

359/31 Chonkasem Rd, Makhamtia, Muang,

Suratthani, Thailand 84000

Simple things in Surat...

2009-01-15T22:12:00.000-08:00

Our daily transportation.

Clearly there will be no attempt at reading Thai for quite some time...

Public Transportation!

"The Big House"

Neighbors.

(A view from my back window)

Sawahdeeka, friends!

2009-01-12T20:28:00.000-08:00

Hello, hello, from Surat Thani, Thailand!

I write to you, suffering from a serious case of jet lag and culture shock. But all is well and beautiful here! The charm and character of my city is incredible, and I cannot wait to share all that I experience with you, my loyal blog followers!

My travels were ridiculously long (24 hours too long), but smooth. And I am happy to have arrived in my new home. Today I have the afternoon to explore, so I'll take my camera and snap a few shots for you.

Instead of blogging a novel, I would just like to share a few things with you, to give you a peek into this new life of mine:

-I don't wear shoes at my job.
-Birds in wooden cages line my street, Chonkasem.
-I saw my first monk on the airplane and haven't seen one since. (not what I would've expected).
-I live in a big house nicknamed "The Big House".
-I had catfish salad for dinner last night.

Sorry to cut this short- but I've got to get out of the office and into the sun. Jealous?

I'll post photos soon!

PS- Write me! @...
Mathus Language School
359/31 Chonkasem Rd, Makham Tia, Muang,
Suratthani, Thailand 84000

Full Steam Ahead!

2009-01-01T21:51:00.000-08:00

I was hoping not to 'officially' start my blogging until I reached my destination, but I am unable to contain myself! I have been thinking so much of this quote, that I want to share it. It expresses one of my many hopes for Thailand- to make it home.

"I long, as does every human being, to be at home wherever I find myself."

(Maya Angelou)

Perhaps I will be able to call you 'home' soon, Surat Thani. Perhaps!

Las Flores, El Barney, y La Vida.

2008-02-27T10:30:00.000-08:00

Translation: Flowers, Barney, and Life ! Mas o menos (more or less), just an update!

What have I been up to lately? Well, for one thing, we started our final class this past week! We’ve had 1 class per about every 3 weeks- it’s been intense. But this final class is about Ecuadorian culture and issues- all in Spanish of course! Our professor is amazing (as in, she asks us very difficult but great questions i.e. first day of class, “Cuales son tus suenos?”: What are your dreams?) and the content is incredibly interesting. We’ve been studying immigration, drugs, and flower workers, all within an Ecuadorian context. We even visited a flower factory on Monday. (Flowers are the #1 export of Ecuador). The hombre (man) who guided us around, Francisco, was charming, and we were happy to be out of the classroom! Mostly young people work (hard) at this flower factory- people about 18 years of age. It was absolutely bonita (beautiful) to see so many roses in one place, and even more interesting to see the entire packaging, shipping, etc. process. We often forget that our “things” come from somewhere else, yeah?

(Una rosa, claro.)

Speaking of flowers, there is an expression that is said here, “Una rosa sin espinas, no es una rosa.” Rather, “A rose without thorns is not a rose.” I thought this was beautiful. And I wondered, what exactly does this mean? Those of you who have grown up with me know how much I adore simple, make-you-think quotations, and this hasn’t changed much. I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m not sure what it means. But we speak so often of the good and the bad, the beautiful and the ugly things of Ecuador in class. Perhaps it is difficult to have something beautiful, maybe create something beautiful, without pain, without hard work. I’m not sure. I’ll think about it some more. Let me know your thoughts all you little poets out there.

Que mas? (What more?) We went to the park yesterday to eat, play, and be merry. We played some Frisbee, ate some Oreos, watched dirt bikers, clowns, and all sorts of typical Ecuadorian people. Oh, and we ran into Barney! He refused to take a picture with me without me buying a stupid dog balloon from him. Sorry, Barney! No gracias! And you might notice my hair is a little darker- I colored it Saturday night. I wanted so desperately to grow my hair out my natural color. But some of you (cough, cough Rachel and Drew) know that I have some delightful gray hairs. So, shucks.

(Barney resisting- he wouldn't even look at the camera.)

I’ve had a few nightmares about being back in the states without having said good-bye. Apparently I’m not ready to leave. I love it here. Life is tranquil, simple, but so lively. It seemed as if the entire city was in the park on Sunday, just enjoying each other, being with one another. That is one thing these people value so much- togetherness, family, people. It seems that I’ve lost sight some of this, with the business of life. With our independence in the U.S. we are so free to do as we please, whenever we please, and we often do it quickly. (i.e. runs to Target, the grocery store, drive-thru for a coffee). But here, time is a gift, conversations are so valuable, people are so valuable. And I personally feel valued. I hope I have, and will better be able to make the people in my life feel valuable. Thank you, Ecuador for teaching me more of how.

Heading to the orphanage tomorrow- will post pictures and write of this next.

Tu Amiga Ecua-Americana

(Yo)

San Francisco Plaza

2008-02-26T11:43:00.000-08:00

Awake me please when this is over.

2008-02-18T08:44:00.000-08:00

(El Bosque in Mindo)

I reference this certain song lyric because I am living in a dream!

Well, fortunately, I am not- but I have just returned from a trip to Mindo; a little region a few hours northeast (I think) of Quito. It is in what they call a Cloud Forest, so with the clouds in full view outside of my windows it truly felt as if I was in a dream. In addition to the setting (which honestly, our hotel was a treehouse- SO chevere), my experiences were unreal. We started out Saturday going tubing. Folks, this was no typical tubing. There were about 10 huge black tubes tied together and we were going to be riding down a freezing cold, choppy river. We had no idea what we were getting ourselves into. The gentlemen who accompanied us on the tubes were what I liked to describe as water cowboys. I hope that gives you a sense of how they had to control the tubes as we ventured down the rio (river). It was a rush, and totally dangerous! But we all survived, and were undoubtedly able to experience a certain type of informal tourism. I highly recommend it.

While we only had 2 days and 1 night in Mindo, we managed to get our fill of hiking in the forest. Saturday we hiked a shorter trail but were able to learn a great deal about the biodiversity and history more or less of the Cloud Forest (while wearing big rubber boots of course). But yesterday, oh yesterday! We saw Tucan Sam, hummingbirds and their nests, flowers that have patterns as if they are hand painted, hiked up a river, and proceeded to climb cascadas (waterfalls). It was incredible, tiring, beautiful, muddy, and was nothing short of the set of Ferngully- if that movie hadn’t been animated. I feel in awe once again as I reminisce of this weekend’s adventures.

(Rubber boots!)

But you must know, I feel most as if I’m in a dream because of something quite different. This past week I have finally begun helping out at an orphanage! It was something I knew I would want to do here, and I’ve got the place! With all of the free afternoons I have here I’m going to be able to help out at least a few times a week. I went for the first time on Thursday, took a short tour of the orphanage, and fell in love. The orphanage is beautiful, clean, well-run. I was impressed and so thankful that such a place is available in Quito. And the little ones!! Oh my gracious I can’t even express how much life they give me! On Friday I spent a few hours with the toddlers- my favorite age, and made so many new pals. Isn’t it a mysterious and beautiful gift children have- the way they have so much energy, are so honest, so life-giving, so unconditionally loving. They are undoubtedly giving me just as much love as I am trying to offer them. It’s true that when you give you receive so much more. What a wonderful new hello from all of the children, but I am foreseeing that I will be having a very difficult time saying goodbye.

I’m headed there this afternoon so I’ll be offering many more details about the orphanage and all its little characters- just you wait!!

Sending you mucho sol (sun)!

Una Foto de Galapagos

2008-02-14T05:55:00.001-08:00

A Summary: Las Islas de Galapagos

2008-02-14T05:01:00.000-08:00

I did it- I had the privilege of visiting one of the most radical, raz-ma-taz places in the entire world: THE Galapagos Islands! Let me begin by saying that it was not what I would have expected (as often things never are). We arrived in what appeared to be the desert. 20 minutes into our bus ride it felt as if we were in the jungle. And eventually we landed at our hotel right on the white, sandy beach. What an arrival- this was the island of Isabela that captured all of our hearts. Isabela is less developed than most of the other islands, which was so wonderful. We were able to wander and see "real life" (oh yeah, and wildlife like this crazy marine iguana) in this place. The people were so kind, so relaxed, so often laying in hammocks. What tranquility in Isabela!

I may have mentioned in my previous blog that I swam with sea lions, and sharks, and mantarays, oh my! Honestly, swimming with sea lions was like a dream. The blue-footed boobies were cool, too. Their feet really are so vibrant!

I am at a loss for words today, so I hope that my photographs will give you a glimpe into the Galapagos. I checked out a photography exhibit the other day in downtown Quito- I must write about that another day. A photographer had said that photography is a "universal text". Therefore, I hope my pictures speak for me!

But now I am back home, in Quito. (My home is Quito, how crazy!) And I have to deliver a presentation in about an hour regarding illegal immigration- in Spanish of course! But I wanted to be sure to get this thought down before it leaves me.

Loving Jesus is a daily decision, a daily choice. If we wish to grow, be changed, love more we must put him before us daily. We must cling to his truths, Him, daily. Easier said than done, I know. But life is just a blink and we must live every moment fully and well. A Robert Frost excerpt I recently read reminds me of all of this. Take a look!

...why abandon a belief

Merely because it ceases to be true.

Cling to it long enough, and not a doubt

It will turn true again, for so it goes.

Most of the change we think we see in life

Is due to truths being in and out of favor

As I sit here, and oftentimes I wish

I could be a monarch of a desert land

I could devote and dedicate forever

To the truths we keep coming back and back to.

Feliz Dia de St. Valentin mis amigos!

Finally, fotos!

2008-02-13T11:03:00.000-08:00

Lo siento for the extremely late postage of photographs! It's an ecclectic selection, but those of you who know me know how "ecclectic" I am. Enjoy!

(Brent and I at the Basillica)

(Cutest chicos en la calle)

(A hostel up near Cotopaxi)

(Fresh Fruta)

Please, won't you rock my boat?

2008-02-07T14:19:00.000-08:00

Karla, this blog's for you, amiga!

I just received an e-mail from my dear friend Karla who stated that my blog is like eating a cracker a week. She added that she would prefer to eat a whole loaf a day! I love the way she put that. And I am grateful that some of you are continually checking up on me! Hopefully you will get what you wished for, Karla! I'm going to do my best to fill you all in on la vida aqui (the life here).

Please don't be muy celoso (very jealous), but I am writing to you from THE Galapagos Islands! I just got back from hours upon hours of snorkeling with sea lions, sharks, mantarays, and lots and lots of fishies! For those of you who went to Washington with me over the summer, you'll know that this was a dream come true! There were so many Manny look-a-likes! But these sea lions were super playful! I was in heaven- but much wetter!

We spent the last few days on an island called Isabela. It had so much character I'm not even sure where to begin. We were basically the only Caucasian people on the island with a bunch of natives- such a blast, our hotel was right on the beach, sand/dirt roads, warm sun, warm rains, marine iguanas, and the stars at night lit up the entire sky. PS- the Big Dipper is upside down here!! One negative point (I know it seems that this is impossible), but they too were celebrating Carnaval- right in front of our hotel. We had the pleasure of listening to Daddy Yankee's reggaeton albums until about 3 in the A.M. Heather, you'd love it. Rompe is your favorite song, isn't it? But other than that I can't complain too much. I have had a bit of a cold, but the incredible things we are doing have a way of making me feel so much better.

Nonetheless, now we are here, in Santa Cruz. This island is much more "developed" for lack of a better word. I type to you from an Internet cafe without Dial-Up. That's right, the Internet Cafe on Isabela was Dial-Up. Talk about a lesson in patience. But in all seriousness, again I felt like God was revealing the beauty of simplicity in Isabela. There were so many less distractions, and so much more beauty in nature to admire. And for me I am unable to separate the beauty of this place and the existence of God. I wake up and see him everywhere.

Something I learned today. Like the tide, we often feel that God retreats, and returns, retreats, and returns. But if we could just raise our eyes for just a moment we would see the ocean. We would see that God is so immense, so huge, and so near to us, all of the time. What comfort! What a promise.

Perhaps I'll write again tomorrow- I must schedule my classes for this spring before the sun sets! I love you all so very much.

Mucho sol, y mucho amor from the Galapagos Islands!

I´m happy inside, all of the time!

2008-01-30T15:47:00.000-08:00

(Jessica, Johanna, y Mildrida conmigo!)

¡Hola a todos! I have discovered a simple truth about living in Ecuador. It is this- anything can happen. For instance, I have a friend in the program who lives about 2 minutes from my house, so we spend a great deal of time together. We take strolls to the Internet cafes, the supermarkets, the panaderias for the most incredible freshly baked bread in the world, and back. We were walking from her house to mine the other day when we saw before us a group of boys with water balloons in their hands. DD said out loud, ¨How cute! They are playing with water balloons!¨ It wasn´t soon after that we realized they were staring straight at us, smiling widely. We took off running, claro (of course!) Unfortunately I don´t run as fast in this altitude and I had several water balloons broken over my head, and at least twenty thrown at me. We were SOAKED to say the least. This is an example of how Ecuadorians celebrate Carnaval. I´m not exactly sure what Carnaval is celebrated for... I´ll let you know when I find out.

One of my more dry experiences (as in my clothes were dry, the experience was not) occured this past weekend. Side note: I´m pretty good at making lame jokes in Spanish as well. Karla, I know you´ve been dying to know whether or not that would be the case!

Let´s get back on track. We had the privilege of staying with indigenous families for a night up in a village called Otavalo over the weekend. There were 6 children in my family- ages 2 (two of the most beautiful little Latin American girls, Johanna y Mildrida), 9 (spunky Jessica), 10 (cool young Sesa), 17 (shy Christian), and 18 (got it together Cristiana). My time with them was short, but more valuable than I could´ve ever imagined. In a nutshell I just played with the kids the whole time, they were irresistable. I would´ve packed them in my suitcase had they not been such rambunxious little ones. This family taught me so much of what life is. It is family. It is simplicity. It is appreciating what you have, what you´ve been given. It is tranquility. I am so grateful that they opened their home and lives to me. Their way of living patiently and with so little was refreshing. Oh, how I long to be free of distractions! What beautiful, beautiful pèople. There are not adjectives in any language for their beauty.

Unfortunately, it´s getting dark and I must return to my humble abode! Wish I could add more detail. Will soon! And I promise photographs tomorrow.

Amor, amor from Ecuador!

Livin´ La Vida!

2008-01-21T14:24:00.000-08:00

(Success at the top! With one of our rockin' guides. . .)

Mis amigos! Hope you all are well! I write to you with a happy heart but a very sore body! Yesterday a group of us went on a hike up a huge volcano called Cotopaxi. We proceeded to ride bicycles down the volcano once we were through climbing. It was muy dificil (very difficult) to say the least. But what a beautiful experience! Once again I was given the opportunity to see the beauty of this place from a different angle. I promise I´ll post photos soon!

What is new? I went to a family fiesta on Sunday that lasted all day. Ecuadorian families really know how to get down. There were over a hundred people there, and we were celebrating 15 birthdays over the last few months. It was there that I played futbol (soccer, of course) with a big group of Ecuadorians for about three hours. You´ll all be so proud of me- I scored a goal! I think that signifies I have officially been immersed into the culture of Ecuador.

I think it might be appropriate for me to simply list a few of my favorite things to try and give you a picture of vida (life) here: clothes lines (are everywhere!), incredibly bright colored buildings and houses, feeling as if I´m riding the Millenium Force every morning and afternoon on the bus, being serenaded by my host father with Mexican music at breakfast, the Ecuadorian countryside, the lights of the city at night, eating the most incredible helado (ice cream) for 50 cents, the sound of house slippers skimming across the floor, and trying to hold all of these experiences in my heart without it bursting! La vida is so good here.

La vida is also difficult here, a veces (sometimes). It can be a discouraging feeling, not being understood and not being able to understand others. This ladies and gentlemen, is what we call a language barrier. While my Spanish is skyrocketing, there are days when I am completely burnt out. It too is difficult to be without close-knit community. I miss you, Peacemakers! But it is also a gift, to learn to listen hard for God, alone. He has been teaching me a very valuable lesson. It is this: that what has been gained, has been gained. Some days I feel like my faith is being rocked and that it is being depleted. But, what has been gained has been gained. Yesterday, while I was climbing this crazy volcano I often wanted to stop. To give up. And it was a hard place to be in, a heartbreaking feeling to feel. But when I looked behind me, what had been gained, was still gained. When we follow the Lord he constantly molds us and teaches us. When we begin to feel like we have lost our momentum, and perhaps much of our faith altogether, we must cling to the encouragement that what has been gained, has been gained.

Photographs will be up soon, keep checking back!

Chao,
Hilary

Estoy aqui in Quito! (Translation: I´m here in Quito!)

2008-01-12T14:53:00.000-08:00

(A piece of artwork done by Ivan)

¿Que pasa mis amigos? (What´s up my friends?) I apologize for my delay in writing- it´s been a bit of an obstacle finding Internet access here!

So! Where do I begin in describing my nueva vida (new life)? I feel as if I´ve been experiencing ¨various states of madness¨. (Gracias Lorah for my Ecuadorian mix! It´s been fitting.) Some of the madness has truly been mad, but most of the time I´m just falling madly in love with Quito. Let me tell you why!

I´ll begin with the basics. I live with two artists- ¡Que chevere! (How cool!) Ivan´s paintings cover the walls of our humble abode, or perhaps I should say pueblo. He also plays the guitar. . . and he often plays at breakfast! What a way to start out the day- Ecuadorian comida (food) with genuine Latin rythyms! Pati and Ivan are incredibly kind and have been so helpful as I continue to adjust to Ecuadorian life. Initially I was totally bummed there weren´t any niños (children) in the house, but fortunately they flood the streets, buses, and neighborhoods. Their little Spanish voices are the soundtrack of my life! I can´t get enough.

The first day I was here in Quito my family took me, along with otros amigos, down to Quito antigua (old Quito). The churches, brick streets, and beautiful people assured me my time here would be worthwhile. As we were walking, a nun invited us into a small convent tucked neatly aside one of the streets. Again, ¡que chevere! It was there that she explained this convent was also an orfanito (orphanage). Oh, my heart! Unfortunately all of the orphans were about visiting people in the city. But as I raised my eyes up to a window, what did I see? A precious Ecuadorian face peering out! This little one was enfermo (sick) and was unable to go out with the others. While he was probably quite sad, our eyes meeting made me happier than he could ever know. A picture of Ecuador I can never forget.

What am I learning of God? That he too, is an incredible artist. His work is displayed in the Quito mountains, the faces he has sculpted, and all the incredible beauty I am priveliged to witness here. Every day that goes by I grow more hungry to see this world that he has created.

Lo siento (I´m sorry) I have to keep it short tonight. I will continue to write for as long as you will continue to read! I miss and love you all so very much. ¡Hasta mi proxima! (Until my next!)

Hilary
(Pronounced Heel-ah-ree here. Roll your Rs por favor!)